Shay
by EvieVixen
Summary: Reer was an odd girl with an enigma of a past that seemed to elude anybody she had ever worked with. When she finally lands in Hawaii she soon confronted wtih the ever famous Hawaii Five-O and it's leader Steve McGarrett. What will happen...
1. Prologue

_Charlotte 'Shay' Marisol Reer _

**Prologue**

"_You're going to tell us what we want to know! I don't care if I have to get my hands dirty to do that, but I will if I have to." The man hissed as he tugged back my hair. _

_My mouth remained closed as I stared straight up at the ceiling. I could hear the faints calls for water from my capture and I could feel the sweet dripping down washing away the blood that was becoming crusted along my face. I could feel the pressure in my hair slowly loosening until it wasn't there anymore and then I felt my capture's body move away. _

_My ribs ached, my skin burned, and my senses were on high alert. I stared blindly up at the ceiling at the dim overhead light, that swung back and forth casting shadows as long as people across the room. Trying to remember some sort of memory which would help me get through this; any sort of something that would help tune out the world for a second. I closed my eyes tightly, screwing them shut, so that I could picture it._

_I could feel the vibrations of people walking, across the tops of my knees and I could hear them returning. There was a sickening screeching noise that followed them. Suddenly my body was yanked to its side as I felt the ripping of my hair. I kicked my legs out and tried to push off the ground in hopes that it would make the pain in my head disappear. The yanking came to a close as I stared at the new contraption my capture had brought me. A tank._

"_How about we talk about your time in Iraq? Can you tell me anything that you recall?"_

_My eyes flickered back and forth rapidly never catching a single thing, but seeing everything. I could hear the shrink in front of me let out a sigh, before scribbling down that I hadn't responded to the question._

"_How about just one word?"_

_My eyes snapped towards hers and I stopped to consider her question. I slowly mumbled out my word._

"_What?" the shrink asked having not caught what I had said._

_I looked her in the eye for about two seconds as I repeated the word to myself so silently that the word couldn't even be heard by the wind._

_I sat stiffly in the chair as I watched the shrink present her case the admirals and the generals that were present in the room._

"_For all of the reasons that I have stated, I believe that Lt. Reer should be honorably discharged."_

_The admirals and generals all paused to consider._

"_Lt. Reer on behalf of all the admirals of this unit, we declare you honorably discharged from the Army. We thank you for all that you have done for your country." My unit admiral stated as he slowly reached out and placed a small velvet cube in my hand. _

_He gave me one glance over before he turned away from me and walked out of the room. _

_I stared ludicrously at the box and slowly, shakily opened it. I stared in marvel at the pin, whose purple glint nearly blinded me. _

"_Lt. Reer would you like to say some words about the deceased." The preacher asked as the last of the family members stepped down, after giving their final speeches to their loved ones._

_I stepped up cautiously to the microphone and stared at it, in its horror. The big black mass stared right back at me, never quivering even though I could feel my hands shaking as I adjusted it to my height. I stared down at the podium and decided not to place my hands on such a thing. I let my hands fall to the front of my body and allowed them to in circle themselves and latch onto the fabric of my skirt. _

_Leaning forward gently I began my speech: "Good evening. I didn't prepare anything to say, and I've never been very good with words, so you'll have to excuse me." I paused and I looked out of the faces that stared at me. Some with pity, some with sadness, and some with understanding, but all of the faces had one thing in common; anger. _

_I swallowed the knot that had formed away and continued. But everything that I had wanted to say, about the great times that I had had with their loved ones, had left. They had been replaced with their begging and their pleading and I couldn't remember a single face without a deformation. It was a horror. And I wanted to continue with what I had semi planned to say, but nothing came out. So I stood there with my mouth opening and closing, and no words coming out. _

'_I'm sorry.' Those were the only words that actually came out. Then I recalled my thoughts and went to sit down. _

_As soon as the service was over I walked away. _

_My body shook from the fright as I woke up screaming to some god that he or she would save me. I rushed into my bathroom and pulled out the razor that I had saved for occasions like this. I couldn't do this anymore and I couldn't take it. My eyes flickered from my arm to the hand that held the razor, and as I stared at it longer I couldn't bring myself to follow through. _

_Angrily I threw the razor across the bathroom and fell to my knees on the tiled floor. I stared at my shaking hands and having come to a decision I changed out of my pajamas and into running clothes. Grabbing my watch and keys and I-pod, I set off jogging at a healthy pace down the long streets of Chicago at 5:00 in the morning._

_I didn't return to my house until 7:30 that same morning. And after 2 hours and a half of running I jumped into the shower, grabbed a piece of toast and booked my flight. I was walking away again._

_My flight landed at 8:00 that night and quickly settled into a hotel that over looked the beaches of Honolulu. I fell asleep at 9:00._


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"_Hey Shay, do you have any family at home? The boys and I were just sharing some stuff about home life." _

_I lifted my head up at the boys and stared at them curiously. Calmly taking a breath, I looked back at Lily, who sat dedicatedly beside me. _

_Lily was a beautiful woman. She stood about 5'6" but her body was well proportioned and held all of the right curves. Her hair was a dark blonde color, which was always kept up in a French braid so that it wouldn't get in her way. Her eyes were a dazzling caramel color that spoke volumes about her happiness, and the joy she received._

_She was a tough woman also, most women in the army had to be, especially those who saw any sort of combat. Lily was a trained nurse, helping out with small recon groups; that was her job. She had a husband and a young daughter waiting for her back home. She was due to return after this last job._

_I stared at Lily watching her smile as she heard the question, and then turn all of her attention back to my arm. Anytime we mentioned the prospect of family, I also had the feeling she was seeing her husband and that little girl._

"_I don't have much at home."_

_Lily looked up in question, before another smile melted across her face, "Well, you're always welcome to mine."_

I woke up panting at the memory. Closing my eyes painstakingly closed, I could just about see Lily's smile towards me in the last memory. My eyes shot open as Lily's smile began to morph into a sick twisted grin, filled with malice and her caramel eyes began to glaze over in ecstasy.

Pulling myself off of the bed I made my way over to my suitcase, which still was packed full with my clothes. I could only laugh slightly as I realized that maybe I had to buy new clothes. My old ones didn't even fill up half of the suitcase. _Not that I was ever home much, so why would I need a lot of clothes anyway_. I was used to living a Spartan live-style. Taking out my running clothes, I changed quickly and then grabbing my key, and I-pod, made my way down stairs.

Once outside I took off a steady jog. As time wore on, so did the speed, which grew faster and faster with each push of the ground. When I finally came to a stop right outside of the hotel, I checked my watch only to realize that I had been running for two hours. Debating whether or not that was enough time, I decided to go to my room, shower, and prepare for the day.

As soon as I walked back out on the streets of Honolulu, the streets had become packed up tourists. Checking my watch I noticed that I had spent three hours up in my hotel room. Jogging down the streets I made my way towards the restaurant where I had gotten a job as a barmaid.

…

Having been at the bar for the past week or so, my brain began to pick up little odd quirks that the people had. For instance, the guy sitting to my far right had the odd twitch to constantly tap his glass in three quarter note beats before he paused and then repeated the action. The woman in the short, blue dress, across the room fiddled with her earring every time she became bored the guy next to her. That woman's best friend liked to trace her fingers along the woman's shoulders, which signaled to me that she was a lesbian. There was this one man that every night ordered the same drink, sat in the same place, he fiddled with his wedding ring, spinning it round and round along his finger. Five minutes before he would leave he would glance at his watch five times, check his phone three times and the door at least twice before downing the rest of the glass and leaving the bar.

Tonight was no different, until a loud shriek was heard from the bathroom. The whole bar froze as a young woman came rushing out, stuttering and stumbling over her words. Her body was shaking in fright and she kept pointing back towards the bathroom.

Jumping over the bar I rushed behind the woman into the bathroom, pulling out my cell as I made my way back there. Stepping into the room the first thing that hit me was the smell of rotting skin. The second thing that hit me was the decomposing body that lay in the middle of the bathroom floor. Giving in a quick glance over I was only able to identify the sex and the possible age of the woman.

"Yes hello… I would like to request the police… yes…. There is a dead body in the middle of the bathroom in the Fountain Bar… yes… If you could please hurry, there are still people in the bar. Would you like me to keep them here? ... Of course… thank you." I shut my phone after the 911 call.

Walking back out of the bathroom, I found a large group of people circled like vultures in previous area where the girl had been. Fast walking myself over I noticed that the girl had fainted clear away, and was not moving. I quickly woke the fainted girl and handing her off to her friends. I then proceeded to name off directions, telling people to take a seat anywhere while we waited for the police to arrive.

"What the hell is going on here?" The boss demanded as he stalked into the room. "Why aren't you in the bar, and why are people just sitting around?"

"Sir." I began, "that young girl, found a dead body in the bathroom. I've already called 911 and the police should be arriving shortly. I've been told to ask everybody to stay here and wait. We are all suspects in the investigation."

"Listen to me. You don't make calls like that missy. I do! Everybody gets your asses up and start having a good time!"

I pulled myself away from my boss' on coming hands. "No sir. The police are on their way. You are welcome to take a look at the dead body as long as you don't contaminate anything. But I can assure you that there is a dead body in there."

My boss' eye leveled with mine in a piercing glare. Soon he broke away and took a seat at the bar. "I'll just have to believe you this time."

…

It didn't take long for the police to arrive and for the questions to start being fired off. I should have been one of the main persons in on the questions, seeing as I was the one you called in the report, but for some reason not one of the cops had come to question me. So I decided to get cleaning on the dishes, hoping to forget those demonic faces that flashed across my mind.

"Excuse me are you Reer?" I heard a voice ask. Glancing up I quickly assessed who was asking me the question.

_Short, well-built, collared shirt and tie, tucked into dress pants, and nice swanky shoes. Hair combed back all of the way. Blonde at the top, darker towards the middle and downwards. Caramel eyes_.

"Yes, sir. That would be me."

The man smiled, "My names detective Daniel Williams. I was told you were the one that called in the report."

"Yes, that was me, sir."

"Great! I was hoping you could give me an account of what went on here tonight. Everything you can remember."

I blinked several times, and for a second I stared too closely at those caramel eyes, and they began to shift. Instead of Detective William's almond shape eyes, they became more oval shaped. And his face began to morph into a softer, less edged face, with a dark blonde, French braid. Blinking back the memory I stared once more and Detective William before turning my attention back to the cup that I was cleaning. "Everything?"

"Everything that you can remember. It would be extremely helpful to this investigation." Williams repeated softly, taking a seat at the bar.

"My shift started early this morning at around eleven. We open early because of tourist mainly. My boss, whose worked here for a long time, noticed that tourists are willing to pay a lot of money if you do things right. So the mornings are dedicated to the tourists and the nights are mainly dedicated to the locals. A lot of people come from the mainland to have a couple drinks here. Honolulu is known for its hospitality. Anyway the morning shift went regularly, nothing out of the ordinary. We close at around two to restock and to have a break. We open again at around seven, but nobody really comes until 10:30, 11:00 o'clock. That's party time.

So as you can imagine, tonight was pretty busy. Nothing really out of the regular. Made some new drinks, new faces that I could see, but all in all nothing odd stuck out to me. At around 1:47 a girl came rushing out of the bathroom, shaking, hyperventilating, and sweating so profusely that you knew something scary was in that bathroom. The bathrooms are uni-sex, so anybody could have been using the bathroom before her. I went to check it out, because nobody else would; I saw the body and immediately called 911."

Danny blinked, scratching down some notes. "Obviously a lot of people are here during the night, but did you happen to recognize the girl in the bathroom. Her face is still mostly intact."

I paused, "I didn't get a clear look at her face, sir. The smell and such was a bit much to take in."

Danny nodding knowingly, before he pulled out a picture; it was a picture of the girl in the bathroom, just now. Her nose had been caved in, her mouth full of maggots and her hair a dark mop on top of her head. "I hope I won't be giving you nightmares."

I shook my head, letting a small smile cross my face as I heard the littering of a joke in Danny's last statement. I glanced back at the cup, before hanging in on the rack. "I want to say a definite yes, but it's hard to tell…. She's looks to be around twenty-six though and her nose has been broken before. She most likely had her hair up in some sort of bun during the night. And she has to have been dead more than twenty-four hours, due to the amount of maggots in her mouth."

"Wha- Do you have any experience in criminal investigations?" Danny spluttered out.

"No, I just watch too much CSI." I quipped back.

"Well, thanks for that." Danny chuckled taking a glance at the picture again, "If you do remember anything, here's my number."

I picked up the card that Detective Williams had slid across the bar with the rag in my hand, and taking a glance at it quickly, I placed it in my pocket. Having noticed that everyone was leaving, I too quickly made my way out of the crime scene and towards my hotel.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_ "Aaron! You bitch! Don't do this!" Chris yelled from across the room. His body was chained up to the wall across from me. The chains jerked and coiled and lashed and wrung themselves over and over again, with his thrashing body. "Listen to me Aaron! Don't tell them fuck! You hear me! Don't tell them fuck!" _

_ I stared silently as the men took Aaron away. I caught Aaron's eyes one final time before the gun was cocked back and a loud boom was heard in the room. Chris had stopped his yelling when he realized that Aaron wasn't going to tell them anything, but it had started up again when he noticed what was going on. _

_ Aaron, Aaron, Aaron! His eyes were the last thing that I saw. He was gorgeous. Beautiful baby blue eyes that were as sharp as a hawk were fading of all there light. His eyes that had once lit up in the firelight and had laughed mercilessly at my pain were dying. And his buzz-cut brown hair that set off his square face was darkening with blood. I couldn't look away for one second. And my body didn't even jerk or twist or react when the bullet had shot out of its gun. My brain was still on overdrive hoping to some deceased god that Aaron would blink those eyes and that he would stand up. But Aaron's eyes remained wide open staring at the distance. _

I threw myself off of the bed and onto the floor, banging my head against the bedside table as I did so. Groaning I lifted myself off of the ground and made my way towards my suitcase for another jog.

…

During my lunch break, I decided to take a walk around the boulevard where the Fountain Bar was situated on. I had made this walk many times in the past week that I had worked at the bar, and I still couldn't fathom what the calling to Hawaii was. Sure it was tropical, exotic, great people, friendly, but was there any substance. Not really. Hawaii was really more of a tourist country than a city.

"Reer? That you?" A voice called out.

Turning around I spotted Detective William walking towards me. Alongside him was another man; he was much taller, darker hair, burnt coffee eyes, good build, strong.

"Good afternoon, Detective. How can I help you?" I asked as they came up to me.

"I was kind of hoping you could run through what happened at the bar again. Maybe you remembered something?" the detective sounded hopeful.

I paused as I glanced quickly over to the other man.

"This is my partner Lt. Commander Steven McGarrett. He may be crazy but he won't hurt you." Detective William joked with me, slightly nudging the Commander in the ribs. The Commander reacted by nudged back the detective.

I watched the interaction between the two before clearing my throat. "I guess I could give you an hour by hour plan of what happened. But I can assure you that whatever I told you last time isn't going to change."

"Still, it would be good to hear what happened, even if you don't have anything new."

The two men quickly found seats at a beach table. I walked behind them cautiously, and I watched as they began to take a seat. Holding back a groan and quickly grabbed a napkin and wiped down the seat, even though there was no food or drink, and then took a seat. The two men raised their eyebrows at me.

"You ready?" I asked, ignoring their eyebrows and the onslaught of questions that I knew were running through their brains.

They both nodded, and leaned forward slightly. I calmly placed my hands down on my lap and stayed clear of the table; only leaning in enough so that they could hear, but staying far enough away so that my body wasn't touching the table.

"I'll assume that the daytime activities are something you don't really care about so I'll just skip to around 11 o'clock." I closed my eyes trying to recall what had happened that night. "By 11, all five of the booths were filled with groups of four. The bar had four people sitting down and two standing up waiting for drinks. The two tables at the far back right were filled with groups of eight, and one table at the far back left held a group of three. Mainly males, some females, but your victim wasn't among them."

The detective raised an eyebrow, and his eyes held amazement in them as he began to record what I was saying. The commander's face was neutral but I could tell that he was impressed.

"By twelve o'clock. Most of the tables were empty because people were dancing, except for the four tables at the back. The ones on the right had a group of twelve girls; they had pushed the tables together. And the ones on the left had an unequal balance of males and females; six males and eight females. The bar had ten people sitting down and a whole bunch of people coming and going for the drinks. Most of the males at the bar were regulars, they come about three times a week to try and pick up some girl for the night. They're more bark than bi—" I paused my little description as my eyes blinked open.

The detective paused his writing waiting for me to continue and the commander leaned forward.

"Was the girl there?" he questioned.

"No, but I recognize her. She came in about two weeks ago. Stood only about 5'2" without heels and with the eight inch heels that she was wearing she was about 5'10". Red dress with a lace embroidered design on top of it. Tank top, low cut v-neck. Very short dress; barely hid her butt. She had a lot of make-up on; it was done professionally and her hair also.

It wasn't the first time I had seen her, so I didn't think much of her face, but it was the first time I had seen her with so much skin exposed. She usually came in with some jeans and a nice blouse. She ordered a rum and coke. I didn't see her much after her second drink, until the night where I found her dead. She hadn't been back to the bar since that night two weeks ago. I'm surprised I even remember her."

"So she stopped by two weeks ago, all dolled up, and then you didn't see her until the night that you called us."

"Pretty much."

"What made you remember her?"

I turned my eyes towards the Commander. "She asked me what my name was. I told her."

"You remember because you talked with her."

"As a barwoman, it's pretty rare to be asked for anything except for a drink. Most costumers order their drink, wait for it, pay the tip and then leave."

"I see." The commander mumbled, looking towards the detective.

Detective Williams gave me a smile as the two of them slowly stood up. "Thank you very much for the help. Seems that's all you really know."

"I'm sorry I can't be more help to you guys."

"It isn't your job, but keep your eyes peeled for anything out of the ordinary. You never know if the suspect is going to strike again." The commander stated, nodding his head as if to agree with his own statement.

The two began to walk away from me, and I slowly got out of the chair. Wiping off my pants with another napkin I started to make my way down the street, in the same direction that the two boys were walking in. They both pulled off to the side and began to enter the car.

"Oh, Reer!" Danny called as I began to pass by. I paused and looked at him, facing him square as my body swiveled around to face him directly. My legs stood only inches apart, and unconsciously I found my hands wrapped themselves behind my back. "Have you ever studied anything about the human body?"

"No, sir. Why?"

"Because your report about our victim was spot on. She was twenty-five actually, she had broken her nose twice before during tennis practice, and she had been dead for 48 hours before you called us in. That's good detective work if you ask me." Danny smiled slightly.

I nodded my head and looked over towards the bar. "Most of the people that come to the bar are around their twenties. You can be younger of course, but you have to be over twenty-one to buy any drinks, I check for ID, and you would stick out if you're any younger. If you're still looking for a suspect I would suspect he would be in the late twenties."

"Late twenties? Why?" Commander McGarrett asked.

"Statistically speaking most females like older males, sir." I shrugged. The commander nodding looking down the street at something further off.

"Well thanks again. Have a nice day." The detective called as the two got into the car. I heard the motor reeve before the pulled out and zoomed down to their headquarters.

…

_ "Statistically, women tend to date older men, Shay." Major Robert debated as his eyes flickered towards the small fire down at the head of the rec hall. _

_ "I just don't understand. Sure it's a statistic but as women grow older wouldn't they like to have younger men, sir? Ones that can keep up with them, so to speak." I replied._

_ "You ever been in love, sergeant?"  
"No, sir."_

_ "Well, I have. I still am. I've been married to my wife for fifteen years, sergeant. She's seven years younger than me. And when I asked her why, she told me it was because I had a more established place in life, I was more mature and I knew what I wanted." The major stated, slightly chuckling at the memory, as if he were reliving it._

_ "I still don't understand Major." Robert smiled at me lightly. _

_ "How old are you?"_

_ "Twenty, sir."_

_ "When you get married, Shay, you call me and tell me why you chose your husband. I'm pretty sure he'll be older than you and he'll be a damn good man."_

_ "Sir?"_

_ "Goodnight, Shay."_

_ "…Goodnight, major, sir."_

…

"Reer, get your ass into this bar! The drinks don't serve themselves you know!" My boss yelled from the upstairs window. I had made my way back to the bar, whilst repressing certain memories. They would only cause pain in the long run.

"Yes, sir!" I called back, as I entered the bar, and walked behind the counter to start my second shift of the day.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_Aaron, Chris, the colonel, and I, watched silently the proceedings going on the center of the room. It was cold, and dark, so it was hard to make out every single detail but we could see because of the lamps that had been lit up. _

_ "Listen to me soldier." The colonel began. Lily glanced over to him, "Don't you dare give in! We'll make it out of here, but you can't give in! Don't betray your country!"_

_ A whine could be heard through the echoing room, originating from Lily, who sat tied down to a chair, trembling. I stared on with a sort of sick fascination, as the capture got closer. It wasn't until it was too late that we realized what he was carrying in his hand._

_ "Listen you fucker! Take me instead! Take me!" Chris cried out helplessly, hoping that there would be a switch and that he would end up replacing Lily. The capture turned briefly towards him before turning back to Lily._

_ "Say goodnight to your friends, sweetheart." The capture giggled as he slowly injected the drugs into Lily's arm. _

_Lily's head suddenly dropped backwards and a soft sigh could be heard from her lips. Nothing more could be done so the capture pulled up a table and some chairs, and split a deck of cards. But it didn't take long for the drugs to take effect. Moans began to pour out from Lily's mouth, as if she were in some type of blissful state. _

_ The team could only stare on ludicrously. "What the fuck did you give her!" gritted out the torn Aaron. His head still lay on the floor, dripping with blood, and the obvious signs of a beating were evident, but he still had the energy to spit out some words._

_ "It's a new kind of mixture. Some LSD, crack and a bit of rat poison. Rumor around the market says that it's supposed to give a bit of an added benefit in sexual situations. Turns the woman on, makes her all wet and ready for the man." One of the captures jeered, as the goonies' faces twisted into smirks._

_ "You stay away from her!" Chris yelled, watching as the men all stood up, un-zipping their pants, stroking themselves to get ready. "Stay away from her!" _

I groaned as I lifted myself off of the floor. Once I was in a standing position I looked around the room in a state of obliviousness. I turned to my watch, to find that it was past nine o'clock.

_There goes my morning run_. But still I dedicatedly did my morning exercise routine – sit-ups, push-ups, Pilates and yoga – before jumping in the shower and getting ready for the day.

…

The people were coming in slowly this morning, as I put another cup away after giving it a thorough wash.

Another week had passed since the mysterious girl had been found in the bathroom, and ever since we had been losing customers. I couldn't blame them seeing as a dead body was found in the bathroom, and that certainly gives the bar a bad reputation.

"Reer, get your ass up here!" I heard the boss call from upstairs. I calmly put down the last glass and the rag, and made my way up to his office.

"You're fired." The boss said the moment I had stepped into the room. I faltered in my next step, and blinked several times, before coming to grips with what he had said. "It's come to my attention that the club hasn't been doing too well ever since you came along. I thought I would see if the phase would pass but it hasn't so…. You're fired. Here's your last paycheck you can go now."

The boss whipped the envelope out towards me, and I quickly gripped it before turning to exit the room.

"Oh, sir." I paused, and turned around, ready to tell him something but I paused.

"Yes, Reer? Get on with it, woman!" The boss grunted out.

"Good luck with the club." I muttered and turned out the door, and walked away from the bar.

…

I walked silently along the boardwalk, before I made my way up to the main beach area. It was jam-packed full of people. It was the most packed I had seen it in the weeks that I had been here.

"And, that brings Shelby down to second place, and puts Kono Kalakaua in first place! What a way to finish this competition!" A radio sounded. I glanced at the water in surprise, watching as the people and the boards began to slowly get out. _A surfing competition. No wonder the bar was empty_.

Noticing that more people were making their way off the beach, I stuck myself to an umbrella pole and waited for the people to pass by. None of the pedestrians noticed me, as they were too caught up in the excitement of the competition to take in minuet details.

"Um, excuse me." I heard a meek voice call out. I turned my heard slowly around finding nobody, until I looked closer to the ground. There stood a small child, with very recognizable caramel eyes and brown hair pulled into pig-tails. She wore a blue sun-flower dress and looked incredibly out of place.

"Yes?" I responded.

"Do you think that you could help? I'm lost." She stated simply, still looking around for her parents.

I nodded silently, "Who are you here with?"

"My father and his friends."

"What do they look like?"

"Well me dad is short, and he has my eyes and he's a detective!" The young girl stumbled as she tried to gather up a good description of her father. My eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Would you father happen to be Detective Daniel Williams?" I asked, suddenly realizing why her eyes were so familiar.

"Yes! Do you know him? Can you help me find him?"

"Yes I can." I stated pulling out my wallet and my cell-phone. Punching in the Detective's number I waited as the ring-tone dialed.

The phone clicked, "This is Detective Williams, who am I speaking to?"

"Detective, it's me Reer. I seem to have found your daughter."

"Grace! You found Grace! –Guys don't worry, somebody found Grace- Where are you?"

"How about we meet at the beach shack?"

"Which one?"

"Hawaiian Love Feast?"

"The restaurant… Sure, I know where that is. I'll see you soon!" The phone clicked shut.

I turned towards the newly named Grace, and gave her the most reassuring look that I could. "Come on, let's go get you to your father."

…

"Jeez, thank god you're alright!" The detective claimed as he rushed up to capture his daughter in his arms. He pulled Grace into a tight hug and planted kisses all along her forehead and cheeks.

I smiled lightly at the scene, pushing back any other memories that wanted to come barreling through the walls. Feeling as if I was interrupting a moment, as the Detective began to chastise his daughter, I turned to look at who stood behind him. The Commander, Steven McGarrett, stood watching the scene. Another younger man, of Asian looking descent and next to him stood a young woman who appeared to have some sort of resemblance to him. She adorned a medal around her neck, so I could safely assume that she was part of the surfing competition that took place.

"Reer, thank you so much for finding Grace and bringing her back. Grace, what do you say?" the detective quipped as he pulled out of his moment.

"Thank you!" Grace claimed rushing up to me and wrapping her arms tightly around my legs. I gasped painfully as she touched me and began to take deep breathes, hoping that I would be able to stay calm. _In, out, in, out, just breathe Char, just breathe_.

My breath came out more evenly as Grace let go of my legs and backed away. I gave her a painful smile, as she looked up at me in question. The detective also gave me a concerned glance as he called Grace's attention back to him.

"It was no problem, Detective. I just happened to be in the vicinity." I responded once I had gained control of my breathing.

"You can call me Danny." The Detective noted, changing the course of the conversation. "Listen, my friends and I are going to get some lunch would you like to join us?"

"Oh please say yes!" Grace claimed.

I stared at the Detective in an odd manner before quietly shaking my head yes, to answer his question.

The detective's face broke out into a large grin, "Great! Hey guys, I hope you don't mind but I invited Reer, here, to have lunch with us."

The group broke out into smiles and hellos as the detective, Grace and I neared close to them. After seeing them up front I was able to come to the conclusion that the young woman was Kono, from the gold medal that hung around her neck. The man that stood next to her definitely had some family connection to her.

"Guys this is Reer. I met her at the crime scene at the Fountain Bar. She really helped out with the case." The detective claimed as the three of us came to a stop in front of the group.

I nodded my head to the commander in acknowledgement before turning my attention over to the other members.

"So you're the memory woman. You're memory sure helped us out with the case. It's nice to meet you. I'm Chin Ho Kelly." The young man stated as he observed me. Suddenly he stuck out his hand to shake and I quickly grasped it, giving it a quick shake, before pulling away and wiping my hands along my jeans.

Kono was next, "I'm-"

"Kono Kalakaua. Yes I heard your name over the loud speakers."

"Oh! Ha! Yeah! That would do it." The girl chuckled self-consciously. "It's nice to meet you."

We quickly shook hands, and as I wiped my hand along my jeans again I replied, "And to you as well. Congratulations on your win."

"Thanks!"


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

By the time all of the food was ordered and everybody had really settled down at the table a conversation began to flow. Mainly about me.

"So what do you do, again? Danny wasn't to clear about it." Chin Ho Kelly asked as some of the food that was ordered was put on the table.

"I was a barmaid." I stated, scanning my eyes over the exotic meals. I hadn't had much to eat except a pack of cup ramen noodles, which I had bought a week ago. Other than that the local cuisine was something that I had very little knowledge about.

"Was? Did something happen?" McGarrett asked, causing a stifled silence to fall over the table. Grace was eating away carelessly not really paying attention to the conversation but everybody was glaring directly at McGarrett.

"I'm sorry if McGarrett was rude. He just doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut because he's socially inept. You don't have to answer the question." The detective responded, hoping to ease whatever feelings of hatred he believed that the commander had caused me.

"I was fired about," I glanced down at my watch quickly, "an hour ago. That's why I was at the competition on the beach."

The group fell silent, turning to look at each other or subtly eyeing each other. The passed like this for minutes, until the sound of forks and knifes clattering against the plates in front of us was heard. Half way through finishing my small plate, the Detective looked over at me.

"So what exactly are you doing in Hawaii? You don't look like a girl with a keen interest in the beaches."

I paused, mid-cut, and glanced over at the detective before looking back down at my plate. I could feel the shadow start to rise and cloud over my thoughts but I forcefully repressed them, hoping that I would only have to deal with them when I was sleeping.

"I needed a change in scenery." I grunted out.

The group looked quickly at each other except for McGarrett who stared intently back at me. Maybe he knew, maybe he didn't, but it was all the same to me. He was trying to read me, and I wouldn't let him.

"Where did you live before?" Kono asked, looking down to her plate as she began to pile up the food onto her fork. _Nervous, obviously doesn't want to be asking any questions. Her hands aren't shaking but she's avoiding eye contact which could suggest that she is too nervous to ask me any questions. That could suggest that she find me intimidating or that she doesn't know how to deal with the situation. She's obviously an under-experienced cop._

"I was traveling around the world."

"Oh wow. That must have been incredible."

"It was. Until I got bored of it." I shrugged, turning my attention back to my food, and delicately placing whatever was on my full fork into my mouth.

"Where did you travel to?" Chin asked. _He's strong, has a lot of experience. The way he talks suggests that he is used to being the interrogator, and he likes getting responses out of people. He seems friendly enough but from the way he is gripping his right hand, he has trust issues. He prefers to be the one asking the questions then be asked the questions. That can be dangerous. He keeps his left hand by his side or underneath the table, like it is now, because he can never be too sure when he is going to be attacked. He must have a lot of enemies on the island._

"China, Israel, South Africa, Japan, all of Europe, Russia."

"Any favorite place?"

"Scotland." I replied, focusing my attention on the detective so that my mind wouldn't wander into the deep, dark crevices on my memories.

_Stressed and a worrywart. He has a kid so he spends a lot of time taking care of children. No wedding ring on his left hand which suggests that he was either never married or is divorced. Conclusion that he was married can be made by the slightly lighter skin around where the wedding band should be placed. Tension in his shoulders could be caused by the fact that it was a tough divorce. Loves his child. When he walked he had a slight limp in his left leg; it obviously doesn't stop him from doing his job proficiently but it does pain him sometimes. Could be caused by a bullet wound, though that would have taken years to heal and the nerves in his leg could have been severally damaged. He wears a button up shirt and a tie, which suggests that he originally was not born in Hawaii and has moved here for some reason. He had previous experience being a police officer which is why he was able to join the force when he transferred here. _

"Where are you from detective?"

"Oh, cool." Chin paused when he realized that I was no longer referring to him. The detective looked up startled before responding, "New Jersey, why?"

"No reason, sir."

"And it's Danny, Reer.

"Okay, si- Danny."

"Better. So what type of name is Reer?"

"My last name."

The group blinked for a beat before the commander stepped in. "Your last name? Reer is not your first name?"

"No sir. Reer is my last name." I stated.

"Then what is your first name? Surely we can't keep calling you Reer." Kono replied back calmly.

"Yes you can. And for what reason would you like to know my first name." I responded my eyebrows turning in and furrowing with confusion.

Kono stared back, with obvious repentance in her eyes. "Sorry brah. I just thought it would be more appropriate to call you by your first name."

"Yeah she didn't mean to offend." Said Danny, as he swiftly grasped my shoulders.

I could feel my lungs and chest restricting and my pupils beginning to dilate. The world was becoming colder, and I was being to be able to see the short, constricted, breathes leaving my mouth. My mind reeled back in time before I had any chance of stopping it.

…

_"Come on, sweat cheeks. You can make all of this pain go away if you tell me what I want to know." The capture sneered as he slowly brushed his hands up along my shoulders, over my neck and bringing it up along my cheek, stopping there. I was seriously beginning to consider his offer as I felt the throbbing in my knee start up again. "You tell me what I want and your sweat Lt. Colonel won't have to die."_

_ I could hear the gun cock back and the low snickering of the other men in the room, and then the raspy voice and breathing of my commander – Lt. Colonel Roberts. My savior, my teacher. I couldn't let him die, he still had a wife at home. My lips began to tremble as I looked over to him as he began to speak._

_ "Listen to me, Lt. Listen to me. You don't tell them a single thing. You don't give in. My last order to you is to not say anything you hear me. You can't tell them anything, that's my final order. If they start ripping out your organs, you don't speak. If they start shooting you up with drugs, you don't speak. If they start raping you, you don't speak. That is my final order." A loud smack could be heard and I could see a flurry of colors as my commander fell to the floor._

_ I stared blankly at the scene going on in front of me. The commander was lifted back onto his knees, and we looked directly into each other. I could see it all. He didn't want to die, but if he had to in order for me not to speak, he would. He didn't want to die, because he wanted to return to his wife. But I also saw admiration, for being the last one to withstand this torture. And I saw respect and I knew that I wouldn't be able to break his last order. I would carry it with me to the grave. _

_ "You don't give in, you hear me Lt. And no matter what you have to do, get out of here. Get out of here alive, Lt. But don't tell them a god damned fucking thing," my colonel, ordered as he spat at the shoes of his closest capture. _

_ I stared at him for just a bit longer in silence, before it was ripped apart by the dreaded question. "So will you tell me anything, sweat cheeks?" I just stared for a moment before the last words, that I ever said, left me mouth._

_ "No." _

…

Gathering back my senses I stared intently at the commander. _Strong defined features. Good shape, cold eyes – he's been through a lot, it's made him tough. He hates to be in the non-commanding position, which dictates why he has such an alpha male persona. He's used to a gun and could stare any man down. He's seen real battle, which means that he had to have been part of the army or the navy or the marines. He seems to be at ease in a place with water, which helps to identify him as a marine or a seal. And if he was a commander, then he must have been pretty good at his job._

"Reer?" I heard a voice ask. It was Grace who I had forgotten was even there.

The group had fallen silent and I didn't know how long I had been sucked into my own thoughts, but now all of the attention was placed onto Grace.

"Yes." I muttered, looking towards her general direction but not quiet at her.

"I like your hair. It's really pretty."

My shoulders tensed, and for a moment I looked towards Grace before glancing back at my food. It would take a while to digest what the hell was going on with me.

"Thank you." I muttered back, and as I took a quick glance over to her, I saw the smile on her face grow.

The rest of the conversation about my name was dropped. As were any questions directed towards me. Apparently they thought that I had been offended with them asking my name and so I was to be relieved of that tension. But it had made the whole rest of lunch very tense, and all of us adults couldn't seem to find anything to talk about.

Grace on the other hand was very bubbly and enjoyed talking about the oddest things with Kono. Including her upcoming birthday, hair, nails and dressed. I was completely baffled by these types of conversation and when they tried to initiate me into them, I politely excused myself to the bathroom.

By the time lunch was finished the team and I split. Grace was going back to her Danny's house, which confirmed the fact that he was divorced, and the rest of the team was heading back to their appropriate houses. And I returned to my hotel room, which was oddly really quiet.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

_"What's your name, soldier?" A booming voice asked, startling me from my thoughts. I caught sight of the person who had said it. He was a tall man, standing about 6'4" with huge, broad shoulders and thick arms. His badge read that he was a major, so I quickly gave him a salute and responded to his question._

_ "Private Charlotte Reer, sir."_

_ I could feel his questioning gaze intently washing over me, from my head down to my toes. "Well then, Shay, you're under my infantry unit for now. It's going to good working with you." _

_ I blinked several times, digesting the new information that I had just acquired. "Shay?"_

_ "You have a problem with that, private."_

_ "Uh, n-no, sir."_

_ "Good. I think I'm going to like you." _

…

The morning sunlight beamed into my slowly fluttering eyelids, as they began to blink open. Groaning I pulled my hand up to my head and rubbed it. These thoughts were never going to leave me, and they were beginning to make me crazy. I could not simply put my mind to rest, I was still under order; but somewhere deep in me I knew that I would have to let go soon enough or I was going to crack under pressure. Each time, though, I found myself thinking those thoughts my mouth closed tight at the thought of breaking my last order. I wouldn't ever defy my last order.

Crawling out of bed, I quickly changed into my running cloths and stepped away from my apartment building. My feet fell lightly as I crept down the hall, slinking close to the walls, and padding down the steps. It was only 6 o'clock in the morning, and nobody was awake to hear me leaving my apartment. Nobody was ever there to see me; I was a ghost. I could feel it in my bones, and the way I had started walking. Sometimes I wished that I was invisible like one as well.

The wind split around me, as the sand sunk underneath my feet, and I could feel my muscles tensing and relaxing under the shifts of weight. The smells of the ocean, consumed my nostrils and then suddenly I could feel the smells from that cavern filter in as well. The image around me grew darker, and the ocean was replaced with red, whilst the sky above became overcast and dark. The ground underneath my feet slowly morphed to concrete, and I could feel the stabbing glass poking through my skin with every step I took.

"Reer?" I kept running, even through the light whispering of my name. It taunting calls wouldn't keep me from running away. I had to get away. "Reer?"

Suddenly an arm appeared in my vision, and forced my momentum to stop, as I felt the world around me spin. Quickly I grabbed onto the hand still attached to my arm, and twisted it around, and pulled the connecting body in. Just as quickly, my opposite arm snatched quickly on the head of my enemy, and I pushed it down, trying to dislocate the shoulder.

"Reer!"

The image snapped, and my vision of my capture released as I came to the sight of brilliant burnt coffee. I found my arms quickly yank away from his head and his hand, and I wrapped into myself, crossing my arms around my torso as I took a couple of steps away from him.

Wringing out his shoulder, McGarrett looked at me wildly, trying to assess where my mind frame was before he continued. Unsurprisingly my eyes fell down to the sand below us, and dug holes there as I didn't feel the commander's eyes lift from me. I dug my nails deeper into my torso and I could feel me feet slowly shift outwards, until they were exactly shoulder widths apart. Old habits die hard as they say, but this was the first time it had ever struck a friend.

"You okay?" was the question that followed, the awkward silence around us. It wasn't what I was expecting, for McGarrett didn't seem like that type of person, but in a way I was pleased. I could feel those words coursing through me, and something inside me was knotted. It didn't feel right.

Quietly I nodded my head, but I couldn't help my quick flicker of my eyes towards the commander. He stood stock still, staring me down, trying to discover whatever it was that I was hiding from him. I could tell that he didn't have a clear opinion of me, and for that reason his arms were still poised ready for whatever move I made next. Still I kept to myself, wrapping myself deeper into my arms as I turned my eyes back down to the milky sand beneath us.

Ignoring whatever he must have really been thinking, McGarrett turned the conversation in another direction. "Running?"

I nodded again.

"Mind if I join you?"

"No, sir."

Taking a couple of steps McGarrett made his way past me, and slowly I found myself following after him. The wind picked up again, and I could feel it running through my hair. This time though, my eyes found focus in the mountain in front of us. Two pairs of feet fell, and the sand twisted beneath us with each step. I could feel his heat radiating off of him as we continued side by side.

…

By the time we were done, the sun had risen just over the mountain's peak, and we had made it two the other end and back of the beach we were on. Both our chests rose and fell, only beats off of each other, and our steps fell down to brisk walking, until we slowed down to a mild walk. People were just beginning to come out of their houses, and the little booths around the beach were opening up. Only the shop owners littered the beach, scurrying around and preparing for the day ahead. I found myself quietly observing them again, but this time I wouldn't be joining them. I didn't have a job to go to, so what would I do? What to do to keep the memories down?

"You do that every morning?" McGarrett finally said, as we came to a stop. I found myself nodding, and then turning out to the ocean waters. What would happen if I walked out into the sea, as far as I could go? Nobody would miss me…. I would be burying those secrets with me, so that nobody ever found out. With those thoughts, I could feel the fear rising deep inside me, and quickly I closed my eyes and tried to make the image disappear. 'What's easy should never be attempted.' That's what my commanding officer had said. Lt. Colonel Robert was a smart man, and he never led me astray; he was too good of a man for that.

"You don't have a job yet, do you?"

"No, sir. I don't."

I could only feel McGarrett's eyes boring into my head. I almost knew that he wanted me to ask him why, but I had grown up only to speak when spoken to.

"Want to work for Hawaii five-o?"

I stopped in my spot, and turned to him, facing his chest squarely. "You're offering me a job, sir?"

"I am. Do you have a problem?"

"No, sir. Simply surprised." I cut off, almost terrified to ask the question that was running through my brain. Finally I opened my mouth, "permission to speak, sir?"

"yeah."

"What would I be doing exactly, sir? It wouldn't be police business, would it?... sir."

"You'd be in the office. Organizational stuff most likely. Nothing at the scene. Probably the most contact you'll have with the investigation will be research, if we need you to do that."

"Then I would be honored, sir. Thank you very much."

"Great… welcome aboard, Reer."

…

_"Hey, hey, Shay-Shay! How you doing?" Aaron pranced up to me, catching up my arm, and pulling me into his side. I tried desperately to shake off his sweaty form, and finally, once I freed myself, turned to glare at him._

_ "I'm doing fine, thank you. I'd appreciate if you kept your hands to yourself." _

_ "No need to get your panties up in a bunch, Shay-Shay. You're too tense, sometimes. You have to relax." _

_ "Relaxing doesn't getting you anywhere."_

_ "Neither does stressing out about things. Just breathe, Shay-Shay. Everything will be okay in the end." Aaron skipped away, winking at me as he passed by and lumped onto another figure. They got into another tussle as they began to play fight. _

_ "What does he know… absolutely nothing."_

…

Sometimes now I wished I had listened.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6:**

"Okay everybody I would look to officially introduce you to Reer." The room let out a quiet round of applause as I stepped into the office for the first time. "She'll be our 'secretary' for lack of a better word." McGarrett continued, walking up behind me.

"Finally another girl." Kono joked, reaching out at patting my tense shoulders again.

"Glad to have you aboard." Danny quipped, wanting to be heard in the conversation as if he knew that I would be right for this job.

My legs stood taunt, un-bent as they stuck to the floor beneath me. The office wasn't what I was expecting, and neither was the welcome. It was a bright room, which stood almost parallel underneath the sun, as it glowed down on top of us. There were very few papers, and the ones that I could see, were stacked neatly or seemed to be stored away in the filing cabinets. Not only was the room incredibly organized, the people were kind; unbelievably so, even when I had thought I had made a terrible first impression.

"Reer?" Danny whispered, coming up in front of me. I blinked and turned my gaze onto his. He smiled as he noticed my gathered attention, "Welcome to Hawaii Five-O."

…

_ I stepped cautiously into the lime-light as we were called to the firing range. My eyes caught hold of the majors that stood still on the right side of the field, observing all of us as we walked and took our places. Somehow I had the acute sense that someone was watching me, and even among all those people I felt singled out; every hair on my arms stood up as we snapped our attention forward, and faced the firing range in front of us._

_ "You know the drill boys and girls." The major boomed as he sunk backwards until he had joined the other majors in the line. _

_ My time had come for me to show them what I could do, and as I stepped forward, the prickling in my neck only intensified. Trying to shake away what I presumed to be nervousness I began to load up the gun, but whilst doing that I glanced from the corner of my eye to the majors lined up one by one, shoulder to shoulder. As my eyes raked down the row of green, it landed on the major who had stopped me in the halls a couple of weeks ago. Seeing his smirk I resigned my eyes back to looking out in front of me and as I heard the clicking of the safety go down, I shot quickly. _

…

"Your face is going to stick like that if you keep it that way for much longer," teased Kono as I began to situate myself at the desk. Almost instinctually I felt my face relax and I pulled my mask back up over my head.

The day had surprisingly passed by quickly. There had been no cases of major concern for the day and the majority of the time had been spent inside watching the trees wave side to side with the wind. The commander and Danny had disappeared quickly to scout around the island for some information, but had come back with their hands as empty as they had left. Even Kono and Chin laconically moved throughout the space, often stopping in front of my desk before awkwardly falling back into each other. I could feel each time they would glance my way, but I tried my best to ignore the almost pitying looks they gave me.

The only thing that had bothered me in any sort of way was the reaction I seemed to have when the commander entered the room again. I could feel my heart pulse quicken two fold and I found that no matter what my eyes never quite met his. It could have been the alpha presence that he had, and the old habits that were starting to kick back in, but it didn't feel the same as it had with Lt. Colonel Robert.

Gulping back the name in my throat, as I felt it burning there, I pushed my way forward and out the door, only pausing to make sure that no one was following me. The office was located just down the road of a beach, which seemed to be more vacuous then the other beaches by the Fountain Bar, but yet I found a couple of stragglers walking along. There were no stands along the beaches, so it was safe to walk down the beach without being stopped to buy anything.

I was quick to take a seat, just by the area where the water met the sand. The deep waters washed up along my pants and dampened them to such an extent that they clung to my legs. My shoes squelched as I curled my toes underneath them and the cloth of the converse, lay stiffly against my feet as my toes uncurled. The waves came up again, and the water surrounded me, and as it pulled back it carried the sand in with it. I dug my hands into the sand, burying them until only my wrists were left.

"Reer?"

I could hear that voice in the distance but I didn't feel like responding. The water washed up again and this time I almost wanted it to drag me under with it. The sand around my hand began to clump as I wiggled my fingers, and I could feel the sand beginning to stick onto my skin.

"Reer?"

Why couldn't the current be strong enough to drag me with it?

"You alright, Reer?" Danny whispered next to me as, I felt the sun blocked by his small shadow.

"Yes…" I trailed off and looked as the sun's bottom tip began to sink behind the ocean. The sky was tainted almost bloody red, which faded into a pink; whilst dark clouds splattered around the sky, swaying as the moved. I threw my hands out of the sand and stood up, my jeans still clinging to my legs as I began to walk back.

"Reer?"

"Be careful getting home, sir" I muttered, taking a final glance at the sky, as the sun sunk lower along the horizon.

…

_"What a joke! I can't believe that she was asked to be part of that team?" The boy behind me snickered with his posse, as I picked at my dinner, flicking the pasta around the plate. Ever since that day at the shooting range, I could feel the eyes of the major's following every move that I made; ever mistake I made felt like I was carrying another load of ten pound bricks. I was being judged with everything I did, and I could feel the resolve in me slowly cracking. _

_ "You're in my seat." A voice demanded, pulling me from my thoughts. I glanced up quickly at the man that loomed over me. His straight brown hair, and dark eyes bored right through me, and I was almost shaken so much that I fell out of the chair. _

_ "Got nothing to say?"_

_ Looking around me, I noticed that there were several other seats available for him to sit down in; in fact he was standing by one. "There are other seats open." _

_ "Yeah, so you can move… because you're in my seat."_

_ I glanced around at the edgily silent room and noticed that whilst people were talking, most were glancing our way. Understandably they didn't want to get involved, and most people had turned against me since the notice board had posted my name – but if a fight was about to go down, didn't they see any reason to stop it? I mean, it is just a chair. As many people have said, not stopping the fight is just as bad as being a part of it. Would they bother to stop it? _

_ "I don't see the point of moving - I was here first." I finally muttered and tried to return my attention back to the food on the plate. The pasta had cooled from having sat there for several minutes untouched. _

_ By my side I could hear another chair scraping against the floor, and I glanced out of the corner of my eye to notice the domineering man had sat down beside me. He didn't look as frightful as he shoveled the food into his mouth, and gulped down the water after every bite; and his shoulders were slumped over, and curved around until he was slouched. Noticing that he was about to look towards me, I surrounded myself with the vision of pasta. _

_ "You going to finish that?" the half-muffled voice, grunted as I found his forked hand pointing to the dish in front of me. _

_ I merely handed over the plate to him, and didn't bother to give a glance over to him, because all I heard was that luke warm pasta being gathered onto the fork a shoveled down his throat. _

_ "Name's Chris." _

_ "Charlotte." _

…


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7:**

My body crouched lowly in the corner by the door of the Hawaii Five-O station. I could feel my knees digging into my chest as I played with the fringes of my jeans. The pressure around my legs slowly shifted down to the balls of my feet as I eased forward slightly and then rocked back. As I came to a stop, my back crunched against the wall behind me, and pushing off of it I repeated the motion again.

"Reer?"

I looked up abruptly and noticed the Commander I stood quickly, positioning myself rigidly to look at him. "Yes, sir?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Sir?"

The commander sighed as he took in my position, and I could see that he wasn't quite awake yet. His eyes were weighed down by the dark circles underneath them, and the slight rugged shadowing from his unshaven face, made it look like he hadn't been sleeping for weeks. His body softly crumpled over as his shoulder's sagged, and the bag around his shoulder's slipped to the floor. Roughly, his hands began to move, digging into his pant pockets and pulling out the keys to the door. Quickly it flung open, and he held it open for me as I gathered up my bag and stepped through.

"I meant at this time." He finally clarified as I walked over to my desk and delicately leaned my backpack against it. Seeing one of the pencils out of place, having been moved over night by the wind or maybe I hadn't placed it correctly when I had left, I re-positioned it until the tip formed a parallel line with the papers on my desk.

"Time, sir?"

"Nobody else comes here this early. – How long were you out there?"

"Not very long, sir."

The conversation dropped with my clipped reply as I began to reorganize the things along my desk; pencils had been precariously placed the night before, and I resorted them until they were lined up, along the bottom of my desk draw, and the papers that Danny had dropped last night before he left were filed away in the filing cabinet behind me. I looked up startled as the commander's arm appeared in my vision, slowly waving a cup of coffee in my face. Slowly I accepted it as found alphabetically sorted some more papers so that they would fit into a folder.

A shadow began to hang over me as I glanced quickly to my side to find the commander was still there, half-sitting on top of an unoccupied area of my desk. Setting the cup down for another moment, I pasted a labeled sticker on the folder and then walked away from the desk in order to place it into the filing cabinet.

"Where were you?"

"Excuse me… sir?"

"What corps? Navy, Marines, Army, Air Force? Which one?" He questioned, as I settled back into my seat and took in the dust free desk. I knew that eventually he would ask me this question; it was inevitable specifically because my body was still programmed like it had been in the Army. Anybody who knew a soldier knew how another acted; and I was asking like the stereotype.

"Army, sir." Besides, adding sir to the end of every sentence when addressing someone of superior status often leads to people making that connection.

"Regiment?"

My mouth opened to answer his question, but the back of my throat lumped up and I found myself gathering up the cup of coffee. Carefully I considered my answer as I took a few small sips and then as I brought down the cup from my face, I heard him sigh. Looking up I was shock to see his almost sympathetic smile, but everything I needed was evident in his eyes.

"Classified… Look, Reer, I don't know what happened or why you're currently not with the Army – Just try to loosen up a bit. It's going to be tough on you if you don't try to fit in with the rest of the team… And as you can very well see, they're not the military – and they're not used to that type of formality." He broke off and tried to catch my eye, but I determinedly stayed away from his view, choosing to focus on the flying bits of dust that were floating before me. "Just wanted you to know that whatever going on in your head right now – Soldier to Soldier, you understand?"

"Of course, sir."

"I won't bring it up again… but I can't guarantee that the others guys won't. I know that they already know."

…

_"A chick? Honestly a girl to join the squads!" Chris voice broke through the night as I stared back at the major. _

_ "You're names been posted already." The major merely continued to stare back at me, almost as if he was seeing through me, and slowly I could feel my eyes hardening to protect myself from his watchful eyes. "Chris, quiet down. Don't wake up the whole barrack. – And what do you have against girls all of a sudden… Lily's been with us for a while. I don't remember you complaining then."_

_ "That's because nurse chick got herself a decent job. She don't see combat like the rest of us… She's a real asset because she fixes us up. – What can this chick do? Look at her major, because she got this scrawny scared look about her." _

_ "Stop having a cow Chris." A soothing feminine voice entered the fray, following shortly by a well-known deep chuckle._

_ "Aaron?"_

_ "Sup superwoman! How's it goin'?" His widely cackling voice broke through the almost silent night. "Is Chrissy giving you a hard time? Want me to take care of him for you?" _

_ "Like you could, pretty-boy!" Christ snapped back._

_ "Alright. That's enough from you boys… I said, quiet." Major Roberts finally pulled rank and order as the boys quickly shut their mouths. The major's smile returned as he looked back at me. _

_ "Shay's going to join. Nobody has the right to argue against that order." Chris looked ready to protest before the major shot his a stern look, "Besides… I think she's cute." _

_ "What?" I finally blubbered as the words finally escaped the major's mouth. Chris' frown was permanently etched in his face and I could hear Lily and Aaron's laughs being to lighten up the air. Major Roberts smiled as he walked up to me and began to rub my head like I was a Buddha and, as he took his hand away I could feel the soft sensation of his hand still coursing over my head. _

_ "You're cute! You remind me of my wife… what, with those big round eyes of yours. I can't wait to see what type of man you end up with. – He'll be mighty glad he got such a stunner like you." The major elaborated as he patted me cheek once more before walking back over to Lily, who was nodding her head in agreement with his statements. _

…

The door opened up and in walked the laughing group of Kono, Danny and Chin, all talking about their late nights and their early mornings. The Commander's presence had long disappeared from around my desk; the memories had also disappeared, having chosen to fall back into the dark cells that were usually captured in. Though, my head still burned from the way Major Roberts had rubbed my head that one evening. Fumbling to act like I hadn't been spacing out, I opted to walking my cup back to the sink, where I washed it and placed it on the drying rack.

"Morning Reer. How was your night?" Danny asked as I walked up behind me and began to pour himself a cup of coffee.

"Fine, s—Danny." I could feel his powerful smile as he noticed my use of his name, and then he walked back to his desk to proceed with whatever ritual he had.

Walking back to my desk I could feel the commander's eyes floating across my figure, just as Major Roberts' had many years ago in that line up. Trying my best to ignore it, I settled myself into my seat before I quickly took out the laptop that I had stowed in the bottom of my bag when I had that nightmare invested base of mine. I spaced out, only half-taking in the black screen as it turned on, and then the bright lights began to flash. Logging in, I was greeted by several notifications of updates that had occurred during my period of absence from the use of the computer. Everything had been wiped, my background was bare and there were no existing folders on the desktop; everything had been wiped, so that I wouldn't have to remember any of it.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8:**

_"Where are you little one? Come out so that I can see your pretty face." The voice whisper as I felt his presence growing nearer to mine. From the dark corner I was hidden in, I could faintly see his figure walking around, and there! Whilst his back was turned, I quickly came forward and sticking my hand over his mouth, shot the gun into the straight of his back. _

_ "Fuck!" He groaned as he keeled over, my hand forcibly being wretched from his mouth as he bit into it. "I'm going to get you for that, you little shit." _

_ Uses what was left of my strength I smashed my fist into his bleeding face. Falling on top of him I continued to ram my fist into his face, ignoring his groans of pain and his pleas to stop. When all had fallen silent, I stopped and looked down at his concave nose and his far-seeing eyes. Jumping off of him startle, I collided with the wall in back of me and shakily I found my red-stained hand raised in front of me. Not my blood. His. _

…

"Reer?" Kono called from her position in the doorway. Turning towards her leaving body I noticed that the rest of the headquarters had already be evacuated, and it was only her and me left. "You've been here over a week… you sure you don't want to join us?"

"Yes." I responded.

"Kono?" the commander voice lingered in the air as his presence slowly formed in the doorway. He glanced between us before giving me a terse nod and then looked back over at Kono. "Everything alright?" He patted her shoulder gently and tugged her away with him, leaving me in that darkening room.

The sun had just fallen below the horizon as I stepped out and locked the door; I could see clearly though, with all of the candles lit along the beach side, and the pathway lights on the road. I continued on the road, my feet scraping against it with each step that I took. As I glanced up I noticed a bright light coming from behind me, and approaching at a relatively slow speed. Thinking that it was another car I glided myself over to the sand.

With each passing move the car followed along beside me, moving at my snail like speed. Every few seconds I would glance over, hoping to find that it had disappeared but its bright head lights still glared at the road, and that huge mass of black still crawled along side me. Beginning to quicken my pace I could hear the engine beginning to rev as my footfall became more and more scattered. Within a few minutes, I shot off the ground and began to run, bee lining for the bushy area in front of me; alongside the car engine revved again, and I knew that I had to make it into the thick of the bushes.

My legs pumped furiously as I scrambled along the sand; it would have been easier if I didn't feel those headlights trained on me, pulling my focus away from the difficulty of running on sand. _Focus, Shay! Focus!_ My legs jumped up as I pulled them away from the sand, and began to take longer strides. My breathing regulated and with each exhale I pushed of the ground, and jumped forward. I could feel the thin branches whacking against the skin of my legs, and then the leaves brushing up against them. The car lights broke away, flickering, as I glanced over at them through the fencing.

Remembering my training, I dropped to the floor; my body slithering along the sand like a snake, and my arms pulling me across. The air was much cooler closer to the ground, and the sweet that had started to build up was starting to stick to my skin. I dragged myself closer to the railing, and came to a stop, pressed tightly against the wall. Breathing in and out slowly, through my abdomen, I regulated it and held it steady as I waited for the car engine above me to die out. I could hear it stalling before finally the car's tires moved away, and the sound of the engine slowly faded away.

Scrambling out of the thick bushes I crept along the road, watching behind my back until I reached the more crowded roads of the touristic center. The lights blared against my unadjusted eyes as they came into full contact with the lights of the side-walk. People around my chatter and giggled as they walked by, some clinging onto the other, others walking in tight groups. I neared the cross-light of one of the streets, and looking both ways crossed over so that I was one the less crowded side.

As I continued to walk by my eyes lingered on the fading group of five that were settled on the beach not far from one of the local bars. They were chatting away aimlessly, laughing boisterously and childishly fighting with one another. I couldn't make out any of their faces, but hearing their laughs was enough to know that they were passing the night away without any real connection to the world. It was just that group of five.

…

_ "I don't know why he let you join this squad. You're nothing but a weakling. – Am I going to have to come in a rescue you every time?" Chris grunted as he yanked me back from the wall, and proceeded to stamp over to Major Roberts. _

_ "I could have handled it just fine, without your help." I scrambled after him, tripping over my own feet as my shirt was still being gripped in his hand. _

_ He turned on me sharply, causing me to collide with his hard-chest, and another flash of pain blinded me as I was jostled back away from him. "This isn't no joke, kid! If you can't protect yourself then go to reserves because I can't go saving your ass every time. I'm not going to be there every time." _

_ Staring back intensely into his worn, brown eyes, I almost could make out my own worn expression. Somewhere deep inside of me, I knew that I had to shape up and follow through with my training; but being in combat is different than training and I hadn't caught up yet. Chris' eyes flashed and then he pushed me back with such a force that I toppled over and landed on my butt._

_ "Welcome to the Army kid. This is what you signed up for." He spat and stalked away, passing by a concerned Lily as she rushed up to me and checked over my wounds. Major Roberts gave me a knowing look before he followed after the dust trail that was Chris' stampede. _

_ Lily's prodding of my arm brought me back to the attention and I let out a well-placed groan as I noticed the blood that was once again oozing from my arm. Hearing Lily's soft command I lay down across the desert floor, and shut out the blinding sun that was now warming my face. I could still feel Lily prodding against my arm, but the air was cooler closer to the ground, and even though the sun was beating against my red skin, it felt completely well-placed. _

_ "He's only angry at you because he cares." Lily finally whispered after a couple of moments. Her hands crawled away from mine, and I could feel the tight compress of the bandages instead. _

_ "Huh?" I propped myself up on my good arm, and eyed Lily closely as she pulled out her bottle of hand sanitizer. She squirted some into her hand before she gave me some, and the two of us sat in a brief moment of silence as we rubbed our hands together. _

_ "He cares—Don't get me wrong. At first he thought you were just another pain-in-the-ass but now he just cares. Because that's the way he is." Both our eyes connected before both pairs trailed off to look at the hunched over figures of our leader and said person. "Chris' highly aggressive – I'm sure you've noticed that. But somewhere underneath that he's kind; he has to be. – He's saved you far too many times to count." _

_ "He's only saved me three times, Lily." _

_ Lily smiled, and then sighed briskly, "I'm not just talking about your time in the squad Shay – You're so rigid, it's a wonder you've made it this far…. – Shay… I know you've never had much to begin with, so it must be hard to imagine, but this is all you've got. We're all that you've got. And Chris… Well Chris… He's Chris, and he wants to make sure that everybody gets home alright – That make sense?"_

_ "Sure..." I trailed off, staring at the loosened backs of the two men. Chris turned around and we caught eyes for a moment before he merely shook his head and turned back to talk to Major Roberts. I brought my arm into my chest and looked down at the sand underneath me. _

…

I shook my head rapidly to forget the memory and pulled my eyes away from the group of five that was still clumped together on the beach. Turning away from them I continued to walk down the pavement until I was greeted with the sight of Danny walking out of the bar, followed shortly by Kono and Chin, and then finally the commander. I tucked behind the closest shadow I could find and stared as the group slowly dispersed laughing as it did.

Somewhere I could feel my heart wrenching as they said goodbye to each other and wishes each other a peaceful night, knowing that they would be seeing each other tomorrow. I glanced down at the pavement, almost feeling a prickling sensation in the back of my eyes; unconsciously my hand had floated up to around my neck and tugged four times on the necklace that hung there. With the fourth tug I noticed what I was doing and pulled my hand away, making sure to hide it underneath my shirt.

Once I was sure everything was where it should be, I stepped out of the shadows and hanging my head low I continued along the road, away from the bright lights that illuminated the streets. I turned along a small alley and then finally into the apartment building that held my apartment. Taking two steps at a time, I was quick to reach the tenth floor; as I began to pull out the keys to my apartment, I caught sight of the slight imprint of my hand from the necklace. Forcing my hand forward I shoved the key into the lock and twisted it open. The door was quick to shut as I slipped through the door, and was greeted with the darkness of my sanctuary.


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:**

"I think this is the first time she's ever been late." Kono's voice trailed off, as I neared the doorway.

I could hear small muffles of agreement and some grunts coming from them. They were most likely circled around the little kitchenette, each holding their own cup of coffee. Their faces would hold that contented, pleased look as they looked around at each other, because they were with family and they could feel relaxed around family; and as a small chuckle leaked through the doorway, I know that Danny had done something fun.

"She's been kind of off… or is that just me?" Danny finally asked, probably receiving many small glances and then hard stares at the floor.

Chin was quick to follow, "she's skittish, but that's always been her personality. I don't think she really knows how to take a break that girl; she's always doing something."

"I don't know what she could be doing though! It's not like she does much around here." Kono finally re-established herself into the conversation. "Steve?"

The commander had probably gotten up, going towards the sink to place his empty cup there; his back was probably tense, and his strides were probably long because Kono's voice had a note of panic in it. The commander probably wasn't very happy with the way the conversation was going.

I could clearly hear his throat being cleared, his reassertion that he was in fact taking over the conversation, and he was probably squarely facing all of them, his hands firmly placed on his hips. "Whatever going on with her is not for us to be concerned about; she'll come to us when she needs it."

"You're only saying that because she's military, Steve. What if she really is a bad person? What then?" Chin cut in as, I could hear the faint twinge of anxiety leaking through, "What if she's bringing something bad along with her? Five-O can't take many more big hits!"

"She's not." The commander loftily replied, overriding Chin's weakening voice. "Look I'm not just saying this because she was military and I was military – I know when someone's bringing trouble and when they're not… and military doesn't like endangering innocent people. She's clean. "

Danny finally made himself heard, "Steve… seriously, I like her and all but – you know, she makes everything kind of awkward. It's hard to want to laugh around here anymore… She's…"

"Yeah, you weren't like that when you came back to Hawaii."

"I can't compare my life to hers in anyway, but some people have harder times adjusting back to civilian life. Each soldier is different." The commander retorted back, quick to come to my aid. I shifted in my spot outside the doorway as I heard the slight break in his voice. I thought that he would continue but it seemed like Kono had different plans.

"I agree with Danny, she's likable but she is a complete wreck – if I'm to be straight up – what she needs is a good dosage of therapy."

I quickly shifted from behind the door, and walked into the room, effectively cutting their conversation. I focused my gaze on the ground, like I would usually do, and turned over towards my desk; a new folder had been stacked up on top, but everything else was exactly as I had put it. I set my bag down by the side of the desk and quickly sat down, pulling my chair in towards the desk. As if not noticing their stares, I opened the folder and read through the information cataloged inside it.

I tried to be surprised as I turned to find their gazes still trained on me, and then furrowed my brows pretending to look confused.

"Yes?"

Muttering incoherencies the group split apart and landed at their appropriate desks. All except for the commander, who walked over towards me and made himself comfortable, by leaning against my desk. Nervously, I found my eyes directed to the area in which he was touching my desk, and the stacks of pens that had been pushed askew by the force.

"Why were you late?"

"Overslept, sir." I pulled out, looking for an excuse that would seem more 'normal.' I could the hear the group as they tried to make their footfall lighter so that they could still hear what we were talking about, but not make it to obvious.

The commander smirked as he looked down at me, "Really?"

"Yes, sir."

"Don't lie to me, soldier." Slipped out and immediately he realized his mistake. I could feel my body react as I pulled myself rigidly against the chair, trying to sit as tall as possible without leaving the chair, and my eyes pulled themselves away from the mess on my desk, to stare straight ahead.

"I don't lie, sir."

Trying to correct his mistake, the commander settled for saying "at ease", bringing me down from my tense state, but still not far enough. Quietly I could hear him sigh, and before I knew it, the commander had grabbed up my arm and was tugging me outside of the office; my chair flew backwards as I was pulled after him, and my feet stumbled as I tried to catch up with his pace. As the scenery began to change so that the ocean became more and more visible, I was beginning to tense.

"Take of your shoes and get in the water." The commander ordered as he dropped my arm. The tension radiated off of my body, as I felt my shoulder blades begin to rub against one another. Looking over at him confused he repeated, "Shoes off. Get in the water."

"Why, sir."

"That's an order, soldier." He snapped, jolting my body awake so that it would follow through. Shakily I began to walk in towards the water, my shoes lying by the commander's feet; as I noticed the waves coming up I stopped. "Keep moving." He barked.

"S.."

"Are you not following a command, soldier?" He questioned, and I could feel the terseness in his voice, and could just imagine the way his eyebrow would shot up in a faux surprised way. Quietly whispering no to myself, I continued forward and jolted as I noticed the water beginning to surround my feet. About to continue further, I heard his voice calling it off.

"Get back here." He called, and I was quick to respond as I jogged back to where he was. As my feet landed in position, I was confronted with his questions.

"Did you want to go in the water, Reer? – Tell me the honest truth."

"N-no, sir."

"Then why did you do it?"

My eyes flickered over to his in confusion, before I realized what I was doing and I tore them away. For the brief moment that they were connected, though, I could have sworn there had been a flash of warmth deep within those coffee eyes.

"Because you ordered it sir."

He sighed and again I looked up only to find his tired eyes looking back at me. The commander looked down at me with a sweeping gentleness, that I could almost feel brushing against my skin; and as my eyes flickered between the two of his, and the ground just behind his right shoulder, the skin on my arms began to prickle, and a sudden rush of warmth traveled through me. I took a breath, hoping to bring the odd sensation to a close, but as I notice him shaking his head, my eyes followed the way his hair moved, and another rush waved through me.

"I'm not your attending officer, Reer. I'm not your higher up. – I'm a friend, a colleague. Someone who looks out for you… just like the army code, but we're all on the same playing field." The commander pressed as he reconnected his eyes with mine, but I was quick to burn mine into the area right above his shoulder. "I don't know what happened, but I'm hoping that we can make some sort of agreement. – It's making the other guys uncomfortable, so I need this resolved…"

As his voice trailed off, the gears in my head began to spin off in widely different directions. One part of me hoped that he would dump me on my ass and leave me alone. Another part of me, would hope that he sticks through, and that he would promise me companionship; because I knew, somewhere deep down that I couldn't do this alone any longer; somewhere within me, I knew, that my nightmares had gone far enough, and somehow I wanted to fix them. I wasn't ready to confront them either; my ambivalent state of mind, was slowly causing my own downfall.

But what if I fixed those nightmares – what would happen to Chris, and Lily, and Aaron, and Major Roberts. My family; if I forgot about them who would remember them. I was the only one who knew what had happened to them. I was the only one that was continually haunted by the morphed images and cracked frames, but also their happy memories. If I forgot – who would be there to remember them?

"Tell me something, Reer. One word at least." The commander finally broke, pulling me from my thoughts; the commander's face reminded me on the shrink that I had seen – that hopelessly faithful and almost winsome look on her face; hoping that maybe I would finally tell her something.

I continued to fill the silence that surrounded us, trying to pull together something that would appease the man in front of me. I didn't know why I wanted to do that, but I knew that I wanted to; and seeing him with that sort of look on his face, the most emotion I had ever seen, was something that I wanted to get rid of as quickly as possible. Having him look at me, trying to read me, made me uncomfortable merely because it set something aflame within; it made my insides burn.

"Guilt." I finally muttered. The words hung between the two of us, and reconnecting our eyes I knew that the secret would be carried to the grave; and the weight on my shoulder didn't feel nearly as heavy.


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10:**

A hand slowly clamping around my shoulder, sparked my awareness of the situation before me. Jolting to sit up right I grab the hand, ready for an oncoming attack in necessary. Though, upon turning around I was met with those deep chocolate eyes, which burned into mine. Shakily I relaxed, feeling the chair move underneath me, as my back settled into the cushions. Twisting slightly I realized that my hand still hadn't left the Commander's, I quickly, almost as if burned, I left go. I could feel my hand tingling from the sensation of his warm skin underneath mine.

"Didn't see you running this morning, so I assumed that either you were sleeping in again, or you had stayed up all night finishing my request." The commander, stated, slowly letting go of my shoulder, and leaning up against the edge of my desk. My still tingling and inefficient hand, shakily handed him the folder, as I could see his hand extending outwards. Blinking in surprise he took the folder, "You were crying in your sleep."

I brought my opposite hand up to my face and slowly brushed it against my skin. My fingers only came into contact with the dampness, and the cold from where the tears had trailed down my cheeks. I looked down at my desk, trying to pick out where the tears had pooled, but there were no signs of water ever reaching the desk. Another hand entered my vision, one that I was immediately able to connect with the commander's arm, holding a tissue.

"Go clean yourself up." The commander, half-suggested, as his hand slowly rose and tousled up my short tresses. Rigidly I glanced over at him, as his hand pulled away and bit back the snapping comment that I had used to say to Aaron whenever he did that. Major Roberts had been the first to do it, and it quickly became a thing of the recon group, even though I hated it. Swallowing thickly I walked into the bathroom.

Standing in front of the mirror, I scanned over my appearance. My eyes were completely blood-shot, and the rims of my eye-lids were a bright pink, from the crying I had done through my dreams. My complexion had almost disappeared, making my skin look almost transparent underneath the bright lights of the bathroom. There were dark purple bags underneath my eyelids, probably from the lack of, or restless, sleep I had for the past two weeks. My shaggy hair, matted down slightly, as I pulled my face away from the water coming through the faucet. To finish up, I cleansed my hands, rubbing them thickly with soap; they foamed up but the layer underneath clung to my skin, exfoliating and rinsing away the dirt. Drying myself off, I went back into the room, to see the commander's ridged back looking over my report.

As I stepped down the steps into the pit, he turned slightly, taking in my appearance before looking back down at the folder. My feet shuffled underneath me as I swayed from side to side, and my fingernails dug into the palms of my hands. I looked down, staring at the floor, feeling the guilt slowly press and compress tightly around my shoulders. Finally, having stood there long enough I continued back to my desk, hoping for a useful distraction but my desk was still as I had left it; the papers were still stacked, the pens still in order, even the placemat hadn't shifted.

"This," the commander's voice finally broke, and my shoulder's tensed once again, as my eyes flickered around everything on the desk, not daring to glance his way, "is incredibly thorough. How did you get all this information?"

"Database" I muttered, choking back the sir as it almost slipped out. It was the title that I had mentally promised I would never bring up; it was my own way of making an effort to move away from the past, and try for this present, but it was harder that I had originally thought it would be.

"Even Kono can't get this much information and she's usually pretty good at her job." I could pick out the almost silent reprimand and the apprehension he had. He didn't fully trust the ways in which I got my information, and he didn't like that I wasn't telling him.

His body heat slowly rolled across the right side of my body, as he neared me. It radiated from him in thick waves, that wrapped my body up tightly, but at the same time I could feel the tension leaving my body. I didn't glance over at him, keeping my eyes trained on the desk that seemed to lay floors below me, but I could still feel how his eyes bored into the side of my skull.

He shifted slightly, raising his hand as he swept it across a loose piece of hair, pushing it back into it original place. As he hand neared the back of my head, I tensed once more, almost feeling a ghostly grip yanking at my hair. His hand, though, came to rest back on my shoulder, which he used to turn me so that I was now facing his chest.

His chest expanded until it was wider, broader then it already was, and he seemed to shrink before my eyes as his chest slowly became his shoulders. The commander's tight stomach gave way to slightly rounder one, and instead of the thick scent of salt water, the rough smell of gun powder pervaded my nose.

"Reer?" the commander's voice called, pulling me back into the reality of where I was. I was still facing the taunt chest and stomach of the commander, and the smell of salt water become more prevalent as I drew back to reality. Plus, Chris wouldn't have said it with that much caution; his voice would have come off snarling and thick with aggression. "Where did you just go?"

The question rung through the room, just as the rest of the group came clambering or sleepily trudging through the doorway. There footfall, quickly had the commander's hand leaving my shoulder and taking a few steps back, but the question still hung between us. It was like we had a bubble surrounding us, that wouldn't break unless I answered his question; us within that bubble meant that nobody could disturb us, like we were in the room filled with people, but they couldn't really touch us.

"Mornin' Steve." Kono's voice rang, surprisingly chirpy from her usual early morning mood. The two guys behind her couldn't help but chuckle as the stopped before my desk.

Steve raised an eyebrow at her attitude, before glancing over at the boys, "what's up with her?" Chin and Danny both let out drowsy laughs as the both answered, 'she got some.' The commander was quick to pick up on the quiet mutterings of his two companions, before he also got a twisted smirk on his face, chuckling to himself. I watched the interaction curiously, not really picking up on the sexual innuendo until I noticed the Kono was wearing the same cloths she had been yesterday.

The two others dispersed from my desk, leaving just the commander and me for a moment. He looked over at me, no doubt trying to see if I had gotten their sense of humor. I settled myself into my seat again, hoping that he had forgotten what he had asked, but from the way he hadn't moved I knew he still remembered.

"I hope you went somewhere nice." He finally muttered, keeping his voice low so that the other three wouldn't pick up on it. My heart beat twice, almost jumping for joy at his soft sentiment, and I could feel the blood rushing to my face, tingeing it a soft pink.

I dared to look up at him, hoping that he could read my eyes more than he could read my words, but at the same time wanting to stay almost invisible under his gaze. Quietly I muttered, just below a whisper, "My dreams are never nice."

The commander's hand once again brushed over my shoulder before he retreated away, following after the group that now circled around the small kitchen, each holding their own mug of coffee. Silently, I watched them from the corner of my eye, but most of my attention was directed to the now brightening screen in front of me. Suddenly a flag appeared in my mailbox, and I double clicked to open to the new message.

"_Dear Ms. Reer, _

_ I hope that this email finds you well. I'm just contacting you to know when it would be most appropriate to ask you for one last check-in. I of course gave my full evaluation to the army staff, which you were made aware of, but you are considered an asset to the army ranks. Therefore they've asked me to get back in contact with you, so that we may schedule one final session. It won't take more than the usual one hour time slot. I do hope that you will be able to find some time in your busy schedule, so that we can have an easy transition. If you are not able to make an appointment, I would be more than willing to travel to where it is most convenient. I will say though, that this is a mandatory session, one which is paid by some of your commanding officers. _

_ Please contact me with information about when and where, and the earliest possible convenience. _

_Sincerely, _

_Carey Multen."_

I blinked astounded at the email in front of me. How had they been able to find any way to contact me? I had been thorough in deleting all of my known emails, even going so far as to not create a new one until a week ago. I kept my registered address as the one back in Boston, and never told anybody that I was coming out to Hawaii. Even though it had been a spur of the most decision, nobody should have known that I was here. Though, from the email it makes it seem like Carey didn't know I had left Boston, but how had she been able to get this email?

The loud laughing from the group pulled me away from the email, and I caught sight of the commander who was looking over at me. I calmly closed up the email, ready to wipe my mind of ever receiving it, and then pulled up the file that I had gathered on the commander's person. _Jeremy Stinton._

I looked back over at the group and noticed the commander gesturing for me to come and join them. Hesitantly I nodded, and turned to close my computer. My eyes, though, caught the picture of the convicted man and I could feel my blood start to boil. It raged through my veins as I stared down the seemingly innocent man on my computer screen. I snapped the lid shut and placed the mask back over my face.


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11:**

The three men of the group giggled as the waiter stumbled away from Kono's piercing glare. His soft compliments and almost overbearing arrogance hadn't wooed over the surfing champion; not in the slightest. In fact, it had made his situation worse, particularly when he "accidentally" splashed water on top of her white shirt. Kono's unmistakable glare was ever present on her face as she turned back to us.

"Who did he think he was? Honestly…" she trailed off, patting down her shirt as she muttered to herself.

"Give the boy a break, Kono." Danny chimed, still giggling as he sipped his cup of water, "he was just trying to get a number."

Huffing, Kono didn't match Danny's quip with has much enthusiasm, "He still didn't have to spill water on me."

"At least its water and not beer." The commander pointed out, his arm leaving the back of the bench, as he gestured roughly. His hand brushed against my shoulder as he pulled it back to rest against the wooden booth.

Judging the small little restaurant that we all sat in, I couldn't help but feel completely out of place; not just with the restaurant but also with the group that sat laughing at such small things. The restaurant was dimly light, a very bad way for the restaurant to help set the mood. It didn't bring help to cover the overly embellished tablecloths or the small chips in the plates. Nor did the lighting add any sort of intimacy to the restaurant.

Looking back at the group, each person taking in the relaxing night as best as they could, I felt oddly relaxed with them. They hadn't really had much of a night off, and it was becoming apparent that they were slowly dwindling in their appetite to catching the bad guys. Danny had said they just needed a good night off; and that's why they had come to this restaurant. My beer sat in front of me, untouched and still full, but the others were drinking and talking. I had never really liked beer, so I was fine with no drinking, but it felt odd to have been placed in a situation where I was supposed to relax.

"Not drinking, Reer?" the commander finally pulled me into the group. I nodded in accent, hoping that I would be able to shrink away and walk back to my room, but the commander's had other ideas. "What's your take on our waiter?"

Searching for something smart to say, I took several glances over at him. He was walking a bit taller when he spoke to other tables, but whenever he would glance over here his shoulders would sag a bit. His body was built more for running than it was for football, so I could rule him out as player for the college team. Interestingly enough, though, he stood over six feet and whilst he should have been a little leaner, if he was a runner, his arms were bulked up and toned. As he turned to take the order of an elderly woman, the tattoo on his neck became more apparent but I couldn't make out what it was from across the room. Still taking in his appearance, he caught my eye as he turned back to our table; there was most certainly something amiss about him.

"Reer?"

"I think that he was playing dumb when he spilled the water on Kono. He has too much balance to have suddenly just slipped, and none of the floorboards are sticking up. He just wanted Kono's attention, that's all."

Kono paused briefly in her drink as she took in the surroundings as well; she even made a little bit of an effort to follow how the waiter moved around. "Let's just move on to another topic – it was just water, anyway."

Sighing, I tried to follow along with the small chatter that the group was making up. As the food came, served by the very same waiter, who sent a wink towards Kono, the conversation took a very different turn.

"There must be something you can share Reer." Chin pressed as he tried to dig up dead memories. Feeling a head-ache start to arise I pulled away from the conversation; I had no intention of dragging them into that pit with me.

I politely excused myself and stepped outside of the restaurant. The luke-warm sea water filled up the surrounding air, but it was still nice to be greeted by the slight dampness. It reminded me of the small memories of Boston, right after the rain had stopped but the clouds were still hung-cast. The streets were busy once again, packed with swimming tourists who were trying to find their next destination. The locals were scattered around, some in booths, others on the beach playing their instruments.

I felt the commander's warm presence before I actually saw him standing next to me. We could have stood there for a long time, watching the pedestrians walk by, but the commander's thinking was very different from mine.

"Sorry about Chin. He just likes to know about the people he's working with – he didn't mean to upset you."

"With all due respect sir, Chin wanted to find out things about me because he doesn't trust me. Not because he wants to be my best friend."

"Would you want him to be your friend?"

I glanced over at the commander and then back at the walking pedestrians. Slowly I could feel the connections being made between the group and I, though it was probably stronger on my side then it was on theirs. I knew some of the major quirks and I was able to read them effectively, which mostly helped my case; but nobody from the team knew much about the team. I was always keeping my guard up, never too quick to reveal anything about myself and very good at making myself disappear whenever I became the topic of conversation.

Though, the commander was becoming increasingly harder to read as time wore on, and I didn't know what he wanted from me. There were small signs that he wanted to become friends, like how he was try to ask me new questions every day. But there was also that apprehension whenever I didn't answer something, and if you read his eyes then you would probably see a lot of mistrust. There were times though, when he was brush his hand across my shoulder or try to hold eye contact, when I would think that maybe he wanted something more. Those moments happened far in between so I never thought very much into them, but they were becoming much more frequent; and after what had happened this morning in the office, I'm not too sure what he wants from me anymore.

I stepped forward slightly so that I could face the commander full on, but as I did my body slammed into another. The body slipped away from me, calling out a sorry as they did and rushed away down the street. The commander's arms had come out to steady me, and helped to readjust my position, before letting go of my arms. I could feel his arms raking over my form, and I gently rubbing my shoulder which had been hit full force by the oncoming body. Every intention of confronting the commander was gone as my head reeled from the heavy hit.

"You okay, Reer? That looked like a hard hit." The commander's voice was soft as his hand lightly fell on my shoulder. I nodded, closing my eyes at the blood rush in my head. "Not to worry you, but don't you usually wear a necklace?"

His words cranked through my head as my hand snapped to my neck only to feel the chain missing. I never take it off, and it hadn't fallen off in the restaurant because I remembered it digging into my skin lightly. Even just before I had wanted to tug at it, but then the commander had come out of the restaurant to talk to me. And the chain couldn't have snapped because it was in good condition. Which left the person who had slammed into me; had he taken it? I vaguely remembered a small snapping noise as the man had collided into me.

"It's probably in the restaurant, don't worry." The commander tried to calm me down, probably noticing the unmistakable panic in my eyes. I closed my eyes to try and help recall the sensation, and I could clearly remember how something had come up around my neck. It had to have been the runner.

Looking down the street, I bolted after him, pushing away the crowds as I chased down the runner. Coming to the end of the street I jumped a little to see if I could make out the shape of somebody running in the distance. Just vaguely under the headlights I could see a body moving, looking straight back at me as it continued in the opposite way. I took off after it, hoping to god that this was the man that I wanted. I pulled all my concentration into my breathing, as I tried to keep it regulated. Each oncoming body was an obstacle, but I was fortunately able to slip through most of them quickly. Feeling the air rise up to my chest, I exhaled deeply and then sucked more air into my diaphragm. My legs pumped beneath me, slowly feeling the building up of the affects.

My feet slipped from underneath me, and almost sent me tumbling, but quickly catching the wall, I pulled myself upright as I tried to keep up the pace. I could feel my skin growing increasingly raw as it raked across the harsh cement of the buildings. I was gaining on my next victim, being able to make out his broad shoulders and his lanky arms much easier now. His body was slowing down, coming to a turn into the alley. I followed after him, slamming into a large garbage can as I did, and seeing him trying to scale a fence, I pulled him down swiftly.


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12:**

The room glowed softly underneath the central light, as I faced the one way mirror of the room directly. I wasn't scared to look directly at it, but I wasn't about to try and convince them to let me go. The dark gray blocks that surrounded me, slowly felt like they were caving in as I finally casted my eyes downward to the table. My hands rattled against the cuffs that linked me to the back of the chair, and I couldn't help but think that my wrists didn't hurt nearly as much as they did from the straw that had once tied them up.

The door towards my left opened up, and I quickly took a glance at the strong body of the commander as he walked forward and sat across from me. The moment was filled with silence as we both looked at each other. For once I was terrified to look him in the eyes.

"You're hands okay?" I nodded swiftly at his question and then looked back at the table. "Do you know why I have you in here, instead of outside with the rest of the team?"

"I did something wrong, sir."

"Do you know what you did wrong?"

"It depends, sir, on what you know." I could feel the chill sweep through the air as I responded. It wasn't like I was being reprimanded by Major Roberts. No, if the major had been calling me out on mistakes he would have talked about it in front of everybody else. And then he would have patted me on the head and told me never to do it again. This new situation was me being reprimanded by the commander, a very different one from Major Roberts.

"I know that you chased after a man who stole a necklace from you. I know that you are very secretive about your past. I know that you used to be a part of the army – I know that you tampered with the files of Jeremy Stinton, you're thief was happy enough to give that away." The commander cut off, and if I had looked up I would have seen how his face twisted to try and catch my eye, and I would have seen maybe a slight amount of concern for my situation. "But that's all I do know. Now either you're trying to hide something else from us or you're helping Stinton. I highly doubt that it's the latter."

My teeth grounded into each other, and I sucked my lower lip into my mouth as I chewed on it. I could feel my fingers twitching as the lightly tapped against the metal that surrounded my wrists, and my eyes flickered around the small interrogation room incessantly, trying to not find the commander's.

Should I tell him the truth and get over it? It would save me a lot of time and frustration for both parties. But if I wasn't willing to tell anything to my shrink than why would I be willing to tell anything to a stranger. I knew that the commander could be trusted but my immediate reaction has always been to take things to the grave. Even now, as I contemplated admitting everything, I could feel my saliva building a thick wall around my throat and closing it up. Had I wanted to say something, I never would be able to. It would be breaking direct order.

"That's classified."

"Reer…" the commander growled, almost pleading that I give him something. "If you refuse to cooperate I'm going to have to but you in the big house. You've withheld specific information that could have helped the investigation. Not to mention you got everything you know from an unwarranted database, so now we have to double check all of the sources."

_I understand. I understood what I was doing when I decided to do it. You of all people should know what that feeling is commander_. I growled in my head, still not making direct eye contact with him.

"Steve," Kono's voice called into the room, "The hospital just called us to say that the boy we brought in is going to be okay. He only as a broken nose and a minor concussion."

"Thanks." I could feel her lingering gaze on me before the door closed behind her. "Give me something, Reer. Something that can help you – I'm on your side, Reer. You don't seem like the person that would work with Stinton."

My eyes flashed as I recalled something. The necklace was probably still in the commander's possession, which means that he has the immediate names of all my teams mates. Maybe I wouldn't have to tell him the truth by word, what if I just gave him a hint. Then I wouldn't be breaking direct order, because the commander would have made the connection on his own.

The commander's chair shifted as he pulled away from the table. His feet clumped heavily against the floor, and as I glanced up I could see his eyes locked with the floor beneath him. He then sharply turned around, catching and holding my gaze as he did.

"What would you have done to the boy?"

"Another punch for good measure and I would have taken back the necklace." I responded swiftly, forming my sentence around my new idea. If I made the necklace seem important, then the commander would definitely look into it.

"And Stinton? If I had sent you after him?"

I only continued to stare up into his face.

…

_ The sun hung low across the horizon, casting a light red across the desert floor and the sky. The stars above us twinkled a little even as the gun shots raged against us. A slid down the rock, not bothering to wince as a sharp piece dug into my back, a looked around catching glimpses of my team. Aaron sat posed ready to go, hunched over the balls of his feet, gun in hand and finger on the trigger. His face had lost the deep green color that we had painted on before, and he was concentrating hard on his breathing. Chris sat slumped against another rock, groaning in pain as Lily worked her hardest to get the blood to stop running from his wounds. His faced paled considerably as she prodded against the opening once more. Lily's back was tensed up, but her hands held steady, keeping the pressure on Chris' wound. _

_ I swung my head around as Major Roberts settled down beside me. His hair was shaded with grays, but his eyes still radiated his youthfulness as he glanced over at me. He looked to have been beaten up but he wasn't bleeding which is a good sign. _

_ "Shay, take out the rifle." _

_ I nodded slightly as I peered over the rock, looking for the gunman. He was positioned above the rest of the ambusher, in an alcove only 100 meters away. Though it was dark outside, my eyes could just faintly pick out the slight glare from his gun. Positioning myself quickly, I huddled behind the gun, and tried to lower myself so that my body would be protected by the rock. _

_ "Hurry Shay. He's trained on Lily." _

_ Yanking back the safety, I brought my eye up to eyehole. Licking my lips, I tapped the side of the trigger three times before pushing it back. My rifle dug into my shoulder as I ducked down below the rock again. Uncovering myself once again I turned to see if the gunman was gone, and he probably was because I couldn't make out his dark form anymore._

…

"_Come on, sweat cheeks. You can make all of this pain go away if you tell me what I want to know." The capture sneered as he slowly brushed his hands up along my shoulders, over my neck and bringing it up along my cheek, stopping there. I was seriously beginning to consider his offer as I felt the throbbing in my knee start up again. "You tell me what I want and your sweat Lt. Colonel won't have todie."_

_ I could hear the gun cock back and the low snickering of the other men in the room, and then the raspy voice and breathing of my commander – Lt. Colonel Roberts. My savior, my teacher. I couldn't let him die, he still had a wife at home. My lips began to tremble as I looked over to him as he began to speak._

_ "Listen to me, Lt. Listen to me. You don't tell them a single thing. You don't give in. My last order to you is to not say anything you hear me. You can't tell them anything, that's my final order. If they start ripping out your organs, you don't speak. If they start shooting you up with drugs, you don't speak. If they start raping you, you don't speak. That is my final order." A loud smack could be heard and I could see a flurry of colors as my commander fell to the floor._

_ I stared blankly at the scene going on in front of me. The commander was lifted back onto his knees, and we looked directly into each other. I could see it all. He didn't want to die, but if he had to in order for me not to speak, he would. He didn't want to die, because he wanted to return to his wife. But I also saw admiration, for being the last one to withstand this torture. And I saw respect and I knew that I wouldn't be able to break his last order. I would carry it with me to the grave. _

_ "You don't give in, you hear me Lt. And no matter what you have to do, get out of here. Get out of here alive, Lt. But don't tell them a god damned fucking thing," my colonel, ordered as he spat at the shoes of his closest capture. _

_ I stared at him for just a bit longer in silence, before it was ripped apart by the dreaded question. "So will you tell me anything, sweat cheeks?" I just stared for a moment before the last words, that I ever said, left me mouth._

_ "No." _

_ Suddenly a large bang echoed through the room. My eye trained on my colonel before me, as his body slowly slumped down and his head crashed into the mud. The bullet size hole in the temple of his head bled out slowly, and my eyes followed one drop of blood as it traveled across the colonel's face and dripped onto the reddened floor. _

_ "What the fuck man!" my capture turned around, his sharp steps clanking against the cement. "I didn't give the order to shoot. Now we're not going to get her to talk, you dickoid." _

_ "She wasn't going to talk anyway. Ya' heard her." _

_ "Stinton not going to be happy about this. He already had enough to clean up, without you fucking around." _

_ Stinton. I closed my eyes, and repeated the name so that I would never forget it. Because when I got out of there, he was a dead man. _


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13:**

"Hello Charlotte." A voice called as I opened my eyes. They trailed up the high-heels to a tall woman with a pert little pony-tail on the back of her head. "It's nice to see you, but I was hoping it wouldn't be in these kinds of circumstances."

I faced the one-way mirror, as Carey took a seat across from me. Her brown eyes flashed warmly as they connected with me. Her hair was still long and her face still ovular as she peered into me. And they way she took in my position, or tried to read my mind was still the same. Slowly she tilted her head to the side and smiled warmly at me.

"I liked what you've done with your hair. It's much better suited." Her hands dropped into her bag and pulled out her regular notepad and pen. As she settled herself in, I took in the almost relaxed body language she was radiated from her. She was still the same, yet not as serious as I had remembered her.

Her left hand banged against the table, and a sharp ring rung through the room. My eye flickered to the piece of golden metal the encircled her finger, and then flickered to her face. She noticed my intense gaze and couldn't help but break out in a smile.

"That's right… the last time we met I wasn't a married woman." Her smile deepened as she looked down at the ring, "I got married last year." Her smiled melted away as the only response she earned was a simple nod.

"You're friend called me here – I had already landed, after I had the army get your location off of purchased airline tickets, but I was surprised to have been greeted by a phone call such as that. They barely explained anything to me before I whisked into here. – Though it did save me the trouble of going into the city to find you." She paused, trying to judge me response, "I believe it was Steve McGarrett who was the one that called me. Are you close?"

The silence hung between us, just has it had many years ago. I wasn't about to give anything away, so Carey would probably do most of the talking.

"He wasn't so kind as to give me anything to go off of, so I was wondering if you would be willing to fill me in? – Still nothing… I was hoping that giving you a couple of years out of service would allow you to maybe temporarily integrate into normal civilian life. It seems though, that you haven't done much except hide yourself away." Trying to keep my bodily reaction to a minimum, I blinked my eyes at the miniscule insult she had sent my way. She continued anyway, staring down at the note pad as she talked, "This is what I understand Charlotte – You're terrified of whatever happened to you on that last mission. Whatever went on whilst you were in captivity, still has a tight hold on you – You weren't going to be fit for any more combat back then, you barely are now. So when Steve told me that you had chased a man down, and beaten him until he had to be rushed to the hospital, you could imagine I was pretty surprised…. I don't know what happened in Sudan, Charlotte. But I do know that you were close to your team, and it must have been very hard to have seen them die.

I here though to make sure that there are no more misconceptions. You're in a lot of trouble from what I have been told; I don't know what you've done, but speaking looks to be your best option.

When we met I didn't diagnose you with Stockholm syndrome because we weren't defending your captives… but you weren't protecting yourself either. A lot of people in higher position of the army do believe that you weren't willing to give names because you believed that your captives had helped you. I, on the other hand, believe that you were given any names. So I've come here to find out if I came to the right conclusion."

My brows furrowed as she continued talking. I couldn't possibly conceive how people had come to the assumption that I had Stockholm syndrome. I showed no apparent symptoms of the mental disorder, but then again I hadn't been quick to call out the bad guys either.

"I'm going to ask you a series of yes or no questions, Charlotte. You don't have to speak… you can just nod your head, but I'm not leaving until you've answered all of them." Carey established as she readied her pen.

Without even so much as a glance my way or to make sure I was okay with the conditions, Carey began her interrogation. The room chilled over the time we sat there, and I squirmed several times in my seat trying to best answer the onslaught of questions she was asking. Many times I had wanted to jump across the room, other times I was more than willing to answer, but the most frequent was my thankfulness that I didn't have to say a word. I couldn't be breaking my promise if I wasn't actually talking. Plus Carey was a good person, right? She worked with people of the United States, and with the army.

"Alright, that's all I have." Carey finally stated, and I could feel my back dig into the chair behind me. I hadn't even noticed the way I had tensed up during the questioning, but I knew that I would start to feel the soreness in my back by tomorrow. "You've been very cooperative, which is a very good sign Charlotte. I think that you've made a very big leap in the right direction."

Her lean body ambled up to the door before stopping and taking a look behind at me. Our eyes clashed, blue and brown, as we held eye contact for a moment. She flashed me a smile before closing the door behind her and saying her last words to me. I turned my attention back to the mirror in front of me and then towards the ever clean steel table that sat just below my eye sight. Allowing my eyes to close shut, I drifted off into the blackness.

**3****rd**** POV**

Carey Multen stepped away from the interrogation room and strolled down the thin hallways into the awaiting meeting room. She was quick to notice the young woman who had directed her to where Charlotte was, but her eyes couldn't seem to find anybody else.

"I'm all done." Carey called, gaining the attention of Kono who stood at the computers. The two women smiled at each other.

"How is she?" Kono asked, taking a glance in the general direction. Her eyes bore into the wall, almost as if hoping that she would be able to see through it and check in on Shay.

"She's much better than I remembered her. Obviously you guys have had a huge impact on her." Carey trailed off as she looked down at the computer. Quickly Kono hide the files she had been working on, and smiled up tightly at Carey who was now watching her carefully. "If you need information on her, I would be more than willing to present my files to you. Charlotte is very hard to read, even for someone who's been trained, so I can only imagine that you're all having a hard time judging her."

Kono glanced briefly at her, before looking over at her struggling partners. Steve finally having enough hit one of the pressure points of the young man. He hoisted up the hostage and sat him down in a chair before rounding on the two women. Carey was happy to repeat the progress that she had noticed, but Kono was feeling that something was off. Carey was a little too happy about the progress, but she knew that Shay probably hadn't said a word. And by the look on Steve's face, one could tell that he was also having a hard time finding out the truth from this woman.

Danny and Chin, after cuffing the hostage to the chair, had joined the group and with listening intently to the psychiatrists explanation.

"I can't just leave the file here with you guys, but I would be more than willing to answer any questions you have about her. As I was telling Kono earlier, Charlotte is really hard to read, and it's taken me many years, a quiet a few silent sessions, to understand how she works." Carey offered up, gesturing for them to take the available seats. The team looked at each other before settling down into the chairs, whilst Carey gently sat upon the desk and prepped herself for the questions that they might ask.

"Parents?" Danny finally offered up, seeing as nobody had started talking yet.

"None existent. She had grown up in a orphanage, and by the time she was old enough to join the army she had lived in at least twenty-three different households. Most of the adults that are willing to offer their houses have their own children, so Charlotte grew up always being the second in adults minds. Nobody actually knows who her parents are, and Charlotte never done DNA testing to try and find them. I guess she's never been too interested."

"So she joined the army, and then what? Comes back and has PTSD?" Kono asked.

Carey looked up sharply at all of them, but her eyes landed on Steve's, who sat in Reer's seat fiddling with her necklace. "She doesn't have PTSD – She's out for blood." The group fell silent as they listened to Carey's words. "Charlotte joined the army at eighteen, which was the legal age, but many people actually believe that she was sixteen when she joined. She never had a birth certificate, and apparently she was good at forging documents. So there was a lot of rumor about that. It's never been proven, mind you, but it's good that you understand that.

Kids minds are still mutable when in their late teen years, but Charlotte always been a one goal sort of person. She got top honors, worked hard, didn't make a lot of connection in the academy. She ended up being part of small covert team under a man by the name of Major Philip Roberts. I don't actually know much about the missions, but from the superior officers that I've talked to – they all say everyone on the covert team was really close. Lily Martin, Aaron Krone, Chris Hetchin and Philip Roberts."

"Sorry I just don't understand how that ties into you're previous statement." Danny prodded.

"That she's after blood? - Imagine Detective Williams, if you will, that you've never had a very close connection with anybody for at least sixteen years. Then one day your drafted into an elite covert team with four other people, who become like family. You're with them every day, you get along with them, you get in arguments with them. They're family. – Now imagine, seeing them get shot at, or wounded. And then imagine them dead." The room waited patiently for Carey to finish. "All those connection you've built up… suddenly torn away from you. It's a wonder she didn't start questioning why she had developed those connections in the first place….

If the army teaches you one thing – it's that you're family. So what do you do when you're family gone – you go after the source."

"Who was the killer?" Steve finally asked, his voice breaking the tension in the room. All of the team had come to the same conclusion, but they needed the reaffirmation.

"They rumor was that Jeremy Stinton was the mastermind behind everything – it's never been proven."


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14:**

_The young boy's head smacked against the pavement. Standing over him, my breath came out unevenly. Curling my fists, my knees dropped down by his sides and my fists punched into his nose. I quickly made out the sound of his nose bone breaking, but I kept punching. Feeling another pair of arms wrap around me, I grabbed onto the chain hanging from the boy's hand. _

_ "Reer! What are you doing?" Steve grunted as he took my swinging form away from the cowering body. _

_ "Is it him?" I questioned loudly to the bent of boy. Getting free from Steve's strong arms, my foot connected with the boy's stomach. "Stinton send you?" _

_ The blood clogged his mouth so I knew he wouldn't be able to answer verbally, but that didn't stop me from giving the boy a couple more kicks until he answered my question. Repeating in once more, Steve finally lifted me away from the boy. I squirmed around in his arms to see the boy nodding, and I cried out. _

_ "I'm coming for him! You tell that fucking monster I'm hunting him down!" _

…

Steve's warm hand was what woke me up from my sleep as I took in the bright lights of the room. Taking in the surroundings I noticed that I wasn't in the interrogation room anymore, nor was I sleeping in a chair. In fact I was lying in a soft bed, with the sheets tugged up around my shoulders. My eyes caught Steve's as I looked around the room, and quickly noted the army pictures that littered the mantel. Finally coming to certain conclusions that this was Steve's house, I sat up and faced him.

"You're at my house." His calm voice, helped to bring me to full awareness of my situation. "The team thought it would be best to bring you to one of our houses, and I happen to be the only one with a free room, so…"

"Why?"

"Because we decided that while your actions were incredibly stupid, we need you to be a part of this investigation. You know more about Stinton than we do at this point, and we need someone like you to go up against him." Steve responded, quickening his actions as he noticed that I was leaving the bed. "We didn't want you to go to your apartment, because it seems that Stinton also has his men looking for you. So Kono went and collected all of your stuff."

I nodded looking at the suitcase that lay against the wall. I pulled away from Steve's warmth and over to the dull suitcase, which clashed terribly with the wall color. I dropped down in front of it and opened it up, to find another black box sitting inside. I pulled it out, a smile tugging at my features, before placing it back into the suitcase, where it would have to stay. I stood and turned back to Steve who was watching me with calculating eyes, before he smiled and gestured for me to walk towards him. Cautiously I did, and when I had finally made it he was quick to pull me into a tight hug. Shocked I tugged against him, trying to wrangle my way free for a moment, before me body settled into his warmth. Standing in his arms was the safest I had felt in a long time.

As we pulled away, Steve's hand softly brushed against my cheek, "Dinner's ready in fifteen." I nodded and trailed my eyes after his disappearing figure as he walked out the door. What had just happened?

…

I joined Steve after I had taken a quick shower, and put on a new pair of jeans and a t-shirt. The kitchen smelled delicious as I entered the room, and even though the windows were cracked open the ever present smell of cooking meat was present in the room. I slipped quietly in and took a seat in front of Steve, who was cutting up some more vegetables for the salad. I couldn't help but let my eyes follow after the swift movement of his hands. Noticing my attention, Steve beckoned me to the other side of the island and asked me to set the table for dinner.

Dinner had been quiet but once the dishes had been put away, I joined Steve on the couch. There was no animosity between us, nor was Steve upset about the fact that I had lied to him. Every time I would feel his eyes on me, I noticed how my heart beat quicken, and I would shift away trying to hide from his gaze. Though it would only last for a couple a seconds, it always felt like so much longer.

"What was in the file that you took out, Reer?" finally the question that I knew he was going to ask. Even still, I wasn't as prepared as I thought I was, because I still found myself stumbling over my words to explain it to him. I didn't know what parts I should tell him, and what parts I shouldn't; nor did I want to break my last order. "You don't have to tell me everything. Just enough that I get some sort of idea."

"I can't, sir."

"Can't or don't want to."

"I'm under orders."

"From who?"

"Colonel Roberts, sir."

"I thought he was only a major?" Steve whispered, but I had overheard and for some reason I couldn't help but chuckle lightly.

"He was promoted before our last mission." I had barely noticed how I had let that slip from my mouth, but it had come out so naturally. It didn't even feel like I was breaking orders when I had said it, either.

Steve smiled over at me as he noticed the small slip, and silently egged me on to tell him more. I tried to collect my thoughts so that I could tell him the most relevant occurrences to the case, but everything tied into something else. So I decided to start a different way, "What do you know?"

"I know that you were an orphan and that you joined the army young. You never had family so when you joined up with Major Roberts it was a whole new experience. There were three other people in your squad, Lily Martin, Aaron Krone and Chris Hetchin." Steve broke off, looking over at me for confirmation, before he continued, "and I know that there all dead. Planned by Jeremy Stinton. But that's it."

"You know more than I thought you would." I mumbled as I looked across at the blank TV. "I – I still can't tell you. I'm under orders."

"Reer… I know what you mean, but I really need to know what you know. It might be a big lead in the case – I know that you're scared of breaking your orders, but sometimes orders can be broken. I'm sure that your friends wouldn't mind you telling me this. They'd have wanted you to move on. This is your first step."

I gulped down a large portion of the water in my glass, and then tucked my knees tightly into my chest. "We had been together for five years, and we had been a huge success. We cracked a lot of rings, killed a lot of people, but we kept our sanity by being together. I don't know if we were the best, but I do know that we all measured our luck by the amounts of times Lily got to see her baby again.

We traveled to Sudan one time – we had been there before, doing a different recon thing, when we were ambushed. All five of us were taken hostage, and blindfolded until we hit the base camp, so none of us knew where we were anymore. One by one the kidnappers – killed. They killed all of them, Steve. Every single one of them…. Lily was the first to go – they kept shooting her up with some drugs. And then Aaron was shot through the head. Oh god – C-Chris was beaten so badly I couldn't even recognize his face. And our colonel was… he was just through the head.

He made me promise, Steve. He made me promise – It was under orders, and those orders had him killed. If I had just told those guys what they wanted then he would have been alive. Even if he never talked to me again, he could have seen his children and his wife – He once told me that I reminded him of his wife. And he told me that he wanted to meet my boyfriend.

Could you imagine? Chris would have interrogated him and had a gun pointed at his head, and then Aaron would try to embarrass me by telling all these stupid stories. Colonel Roberts would have been laughing, and then when I wasn't looking threaten him and Lily would have been the only sane one. She would be the one telling me to go for it – and…" my voice gave way to manic cries as I turned myself into a ball. I could feel Steve's arms around me and then his heat consumed me. I could feel it tumbling through my hair and then down to the tips of my toes. His soft but rough voice whispered nothings in my ear as my cries grew worse and worse. His lips pressing against my head over and over again.

Finally, through a cracking and dry throat, I pulled myself together and dragged the rest of the story out of me. "I heard the name Stinton mentioned in a conversation, and that's the only thing I really remember. I kept thinking about his name as I beat my way out of the base and out into the desert. It was only until I was released from the custody of the army that I was able to do a lot of research on him. I had to do it in small bits, seeing as the army was still tailing me and would have flagged me if they had gotten hold of what I was doing.

I couldn't go after him alone, and even though I wanted him dead I knew that I would just get myself killed if I did it alone. So I was just going to leave his file at some random police station and be done with it, but I couldn't go through with it. He's mine, and I don't trust anybody else to go after him except me."

Steve rocked me slowly as my voice cracked another time. I could still feel his lips trained on the crown of my head, and even now and then he was let them linger there for more than a few seconds. The silence between us grew rapidly once the story finished. I still had the file, stored away in my brain, word for word, and I knew how to get it back if we ever did catch that man. I shifted my attention back to Steve as he hand slowly grasped around my neck and titled my head backwards. Studying the odd move my eyes scrambled across his face as he began to lean in closer. It wasn't until his lips were firmly connected to mine, that I knew exactly what my feelings were to the man before me. Shakily, my hands unwrapped from my knees and tugged at his shirt. His lips pushed against me fiercely, and even though I was under experienced, I knew that probably nobody could kiss much better than him.

As my lips parted for his tongue to sweep into my mouth, my body rocked forwards, until I was tightly pressed against him. His hands slithered through my hair, and replaced the ghost one that had once tugged at it.


End file.
